29 July 2016

Friday Funny

I can't poke fun at Star Trek if I don't poke fun at Star Wars, too.

Carrie Fisher supposedly leaked spoilers to the as of yet unfinished "Rogue One" by revealing... (cover your eyes if you don't want the surprise unleashed)... there will be a funeral for Han.

Wait... isn't "Rogue One" between "Return of the Jedi" and "The Force Awakens"??? Why are they going to have his funeral before he dies?!?

See, JJ's planning yet another alternate timeline, and the whole plot hasn't been spoiled yet!!! Nevertheless, comments provided some afternoon laughter...

"I heard from a source that the real reason Han and Leia got divorced was because he kept wanting her to wear that slave outfit she had on for Jabba The Hutt. He never really got to see her in it, and wanted to know what Luke and Lando were talking about." - Juan

"Hans found Leia's coke stash and sent her to the Betty Ford space station. Future DCFS sent thier kid to 15 different foster planets, and he became a thug with powers and daddy issues. Seriously, Carrie Fisher needs to stay off the sauce if she's going to try not to spill plotlines." - E

"That explains why Solo didn't have the Millennium Falcon. She took him for everything he had. Typical Princess behavior, ugh." - Wisar7381

"My problem with the dark side is that all the users seem to be whiny brats anymore." - Casey

"It would have to be more of a memorial than a funeral because Han's body took a dive off the bridge, and Starkiller base got all blowed up." - Jim S.

"Just a side note: There is no way that Han Solo and Princess Leia could have a kid as ugly as Kylo Ren." - Ballhawk

"So what you're saying is that Leia is single and ready to mingle?" - Brian Williams

"Better love story than Twilight." - Claudia

"However, the funeral of Jar-Jar Binks was celebrated throughout the galaxy, the next galaxy over and soon enough across 14,000,000,000 lightyears..." - Mongoose on the Loose

Carrie also says Han and Leia didn't have the coolest kid in the universe.

“We had a child who turned out to be Hitler, naughty Hitler. You’d feel bad too if your child did all that, wouldn’t you?,” Fisher asked. “I did spank Adam [Driver] when I first met him, so that felt good.”

Oh, boy, did that ever cause imaginations to fly!

"Naughty Hitler"? There was a good one?" - John L.

"I'm trying to imagine Return-of-the-Jedi Carrie Fisher doing the spanking... not this bloated Botox mess..." - Get Bent

"I think most die-hard fans would have loved to have seen Ben Solo spanked. And Jar Jar Binks and then that petulantly pouty Christensen as "adult" Anakin. And then we spank George Lucas for inflicting Binks on the franchise and for not ruining what could have been an intriguing background/backstory on one of cinema's greatest villains." - The Snarkitect


  1. Whiny brats is all the dark side seems to get indeed. Ugg to altered timeline stuff again.

  2. Are these altered timelines akin to making twelve variations of the same pattern because you keep getting too many ideas and can't settle on just one? Or is it just a cheap do-over trick because you've written a character into a corner? (Does this seem harsh? Must be the hormones talking. My new alternate character is "Hormone Sue". She can say whatever the heck she wants, then blame it on the hormones.)



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