Friday Fantastic

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my part AI/part Photoshop interpretation of what Earth would look like with rings and more moons

Yesterday was "May the Fourth Be With You", and today is "Revenge of the Sith." So I'm resorting to space humor today. I have not yet been successful in creating an AI image of a sunset on the surface of Saturn, but I saw a pretty funny Star Trek challenge, and here are some of the best responses.

Prompt: Write a Star Trek script using only five words.

Computer, activate auto destruct sequence.

The Tribbles ate the ship.

Only the Red Shirts survived.

It was all a dream.

Kirk violated the Prime Directive.

First star to the left.

And straight on until dawn.

Beam me up, Scotty, now!

Don't wear the red uniform.

Hey, Red Shirt, watch out!

All the red shirts die.

There goes another red shirt.

And then it got worse.

Shaka, when the walls fell.

Enterprise encounters more advanced aliens.

Enterprise encounters less sophistacated aliens.

Star Trek: The Musical Episode

I said, "Shut up, Wesley!"

No intelligent life down there.

We traveled in time again.

Red alert! Raise shields! (Explosion.)

Enterprise goes out and returns.

Spot the Cat Strikes Back

Kirk, I am your father!

And Picard saved the day.

Explore strange new worlds. Again.

The holodeck is malfunctioning again.

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Yoda Best

I actually have a snowflake pattern almost ready for today, but this Saturday is an important holiday, especially since we couldn't celebrate last year. (I sent cards.)

I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish my idea to thank my bosses for keeping me as an employee because it's fourth quarter, and I'm working through lunch most days and working late almost every night. Saturday, I spent ten hours on a project for my daughter (and am SO thankful now it's done and out of my hair!!!), and I finally finished up all four of my gifts by 9:30 last night.

Talk about cutting it close! They need to be in the mail today!!!

For my mug cozies (which technically aren't mug cozies, which would not be worked in the round and would button together through the mug handles, I pulled scrap worsted yarn from my stash.

I had no black shank buttons for eyes, but I had a handful of white. So I colored them with a black Sharpie. (Why couldn't Yoda have had blue eyes?!? I had plenty of blue shank buttons!!!)

This project is designed to fit a large paper coffee (or hot chocolate) cup from most coffee shops and is worked using two strands of worsted throughout. I wrote the pattern late last night, so it hasn't been tested. If you make one of these super-quick gifts, please check the fit on the intended cup often. If the cozy is too tight, add a stitch or two. If the cozy is too loose, use fewer stitches.

You may do whatever you'd like with cozies you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 3/5 inches tall, 4.5 inches wide laid flat
Materials: Size H crochet hook, scraps of yarn in two colors (using double strand), 2.5- to .75-inch buttons, sewing needle, sewing thread to match either buttons or yarn face color

Yoda Best Mug Cozy Instructions

Using 2 strands of tan, brown or desired clothing color, ch 21. (I used brown and tan.) Taking care not to twist work, sl st in 1st ch to create a ring. Check fit of intended cup. Add or subtract stitches as necessary for a snug fit.

Round 1: 1 sc in each ch around. Do not join.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.

Round 2: 1 sc in each sc around. Do not join on this or any of the following rounds until end of project.

Round 3: 2 sc in next sc, 1 sc in each sc around, .

Rounds 4-5: Repeat Rounds 2 and 3.

Round 6: Draw up loop through next st, join two strands of green or face color; yo and draw through both loops on hook. 1 sc in each sc around, burying ends as you go.

Round 7: 2 sc in next sc, 1 sc in each sc around, .

Round 8: 1 sc in each sc around.

Round 9: 1 sc in next sc, ch 7, 1 sc in 2nd ch from hook, 1 hdc in next ch, 1 dc in next ch, 1 hdc in next ch, 1 sc in next ch, sl st in next ch (ear made), 1 sc in each of next 10 sc, ch 7, work another ear same as previous ear, 1 sc in each sc around.

Round 10: 1 sc in each sc around; bind off. Weave in ends.

Finish: Sew on button eyes. Buttons also may be strung onto green yarn and worked into crochet as you go, but I opted to sew them on with needle and thread rather than trying to thread the yarn through the button shanks.

Your project is ready for gifting! If desired, cut out a cup-shape from white cardboard and insert into mug cozy with desired greeting. If desired, you also may slip in a bar or handmade soap or a gift certificate to the recipient's favorite coffee shop.

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Let It Be (Gone!!!)

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Star Wars fans are back at the humor post, attempting to sort the pieces of what might end up being a totally plagiarized plot. What's the connection between Kylo Ren and Rey?!?

"Obi-Wan was having an affair with another Jedi. When Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan in 'A New Hope', he recovered Obi's lightsaber. Luke lost his light saber when he lost his hand in the Cloud City. Luke recovered Obi's lightsaber upon killing Darth Vader at the end of 'Return of the Jedi'. Obi had twin daughters Miley Cyrus (just kidding) and Rey. In "Revenge of the Sith", Yoda's eyes turn slightly yellow battling Palpatine, meaning Yoda knew the dark side and withheld it from Anakin. Obi-Wan may have known the dark side from Yoda which is why Anakin, the most powerful Chosen One, could not beat Obi-Wan. Luke was taught the dark side by Darth Vader in the back story after 'The Empire Strikes Back', which is why he shows up in black in 'Return of the Jedi'. If kylo is Obi's son, Luke may have tried to teach both the light and the dark side to Kylo Ren, which would explain why Luke stood in that same exact spot for years (except to take a poop but going right back to regret position), and spent years with extreme regret." - Lynx

"Is the connection that they both can't act?" - Darkstar

"Brady and Belichick are the last Jedi... I had my suspicions, but after that football comeback, I have no more doubts." - Yahoo Reader

"As long as he doesn't fall for her and then find out in the last movie he is related to her, all will be well." - J

"Obviously she's Jar Jar in disguise." - Dev

"She's a clone." - Sai T

"Rey is D.B. Cooper. Rey shot J.R. Rey is Jack the Ripper. Rey was the Babushka Lady in Dallas. Rey defiantly stood her ground in Tienanmen Square. Rey was the man in the Iron Mask. Rey is all of the missing Romanov children. Rey is Keyser Soza! You're welcome." - Charles

"Their wands have the same core. They can wound but not fatally harm one another." - Jonathon

"Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.
Lone Starr: What?
Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Starr: What's that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become." - Charles

"Everyone knows Rey is the offspring of Leia and Chewie. She has to keep nearly completely covered to hide her fur." - Tracy

"Well... Han Solo was gone for a very long time and a bit of playboy..." - Brandon

"Kylo and Rey both are reincarnations of Anakin. The conflict in Anakin between the Dark and the Light is spliced in two individuals. They are the two sides of Anakin Skywalker's soul." - Free Mind

"They both stared in the Jar Jar Abrams horrific copy-and-paste hack job called The Farce Awakens, worst Star Wars movie ever." - .

"The real question here is... is Frank West dead or not?" - The

"In order for the Force to Awaken, Disney must go back to sleep." - C

"Bunch of scruffy-looking Nerf herders." - Spahetti Westerner

"Oh no, let me guess. They are brother and sister, and the bad guy is their father. Wow, real original. Can't believe space nerds gobble this regurgitated plagiarism up and beg for more as they run around smacking each other with their space nerd rods." - MyDogIsHappy

"In the novel, when the lightsaber goes flying into Rey's hands, Ren says, "It *IS* you!" (italics in the text). Ren clearly knows Rey. She also muses to herself that he seems to know more about her than she does. While that line was not in the movie, none of this is any surprise to anyone who has read the novel. Why news stories on this topic never mention the novel is beyond me, because it's right there." - Janet

"This isn't rocket science, clowns. If it were, it would be Star Trek, the thinking man's franchise. Oh, calm down. It's a joke, basement dwellers. Relax. Put your light sabres on stun." - Captain

"Look... regardless of which sci-fi series you prefer, there's only one man who could have fathered everybody in the universe... James T. Kirk." - DarkerHumorist

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Friday Funny

I can't poke fun at Star Trek if I don't poke fun at Star Wars, too.

Carrie Fisher supposedly leaked spoilers to the as of yet unfinished "Rogue One" by revealing... (cover your eyes if you don't want the surprise unleashed)... there will be a funeral for Han.

Wait... isn't "Rogue One" between "Return of the Jedi" and "The Force Awakens"??? Why are they going to have his funeral before he dies?!?

See, JJ's planning yet another alternate timeline, and the whole plot hasn't been spoiled yet!!! Nevertheless, comments provided some afternoon laughter...

"I heard from a source that the real reason Han and Leia got divorced was because he kept wanting her to wear that slave outfit she had on for Jabba The Hutt. He never really got to see her in it, and wanted to know what Luke and Lando were talking about." - Juan

"Hans found Leia's coke stash and sent her to the Betty Ford space station. Future DCFS sent thier kid to 15 different foster planets, and he became a thug with powers and daddy issues. Seriously, Carrie Fisher needs to stay off the sauce if she's going to try not to spill plotlines." - E

"That explains why Solo didn't have the Millennium Falcon. She took him for everything he had. Typical Princess behavior, ugh." - Wisar7381

"My problem with the dark side is that all the users seem to be whiny brats anymore." - Casey

"It would have to be more of a memorial than a funeral because Han's body took a dive off the bridge, and Starkiller base got all blowed up." - Jim S.

"Just a side note: There is no way that Han Solo and Princess Leia could have a kid as ugly as Kylo Ren." - Ballhawk

"So what you're saying is that Leia is single and ready to mingle?" - Brian Williams

"Better love story than Twilight." - Claudia

"However, the funeral of Jar-Jar Binks was celebrated throughout the galaxy, the next galaxy over and soon enough across 14,000,000,000 lightyears..." - Mongoose on the Loose

Carrie also says Han and Leia didn't have the coolest kid in the universe.

“We had a child who turned out to be Hitler, naughty Hitler. You’d feel bad too if your child did all that, wouldn’t you?,” Fisher asked. “I did spank Adam [Driver] when I first met him, so that felt good.”

Oh, boy, did that ever cause imaginations to fly!

"Naughty Hitler"? There was a good one?" - John L.

"I'm trying to imagine Return-of-the-Jedi Carrie Fisher doing the spanking... not this bloated Botox mess..." - Get Bent

"I think most die-hard fans would have loved to have seen Ben Solo spanked. And Jar Jar Binks and then that petulantly pouty Christensen as "adult" Anakin. And then we spank George Lucas for inflicting Binks on the franchise and for not ruining what could have been an intriguing background/backstory on one of cinema's greatest villains." - The Snarkitect

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Just plain awesome! Watch all the way to the end!

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