Friday Fabulous

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Tiny

Although I do have more time to myself now, I was hoping to have more than just one mini granny square for a tiny afghan done by today so I could share what I'm making. Didn't quite remember how long it takes to weave in sewing thread ends!!! I've crocheted with sewing thread in the past, but it's been too long. I don't think I had to wear close-up glasses last time I used my size 13 crochet hook!

Oops! Well, I guess I did have to wear glasses back then!!! Wow. It's been so long, I didn't even remember wearing the glasses!!!

For at least a couple of years, I've wanted to make a mini afghan for one of my friends whose husband has pulled us out of a bind more than once. He's helped with home installations including our new kitchen sink. (Did you know sinks can actually wear out?!?) They won't let me pay for his time, so I thought I could thank them in a way not just anyone can. I just hope I can finish this project before it becomes yet another motif WIP!!!

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A post shared by Carinne (@my_life_in_miniature)

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Wordless Wednesday

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Back to the Garden

I'm so excited to finally have time in my garden again. I feel as if I totally neglected it last summer, and I'm getting a really late start this year.

Of course, I did get some help this year from the explosion of bunnies in our neighborhood.

I purchased several close-to-hopeless plants back in May and June from the clearance racks. I'd been able to nurse similar specimens back to health in the past. But I'd put time into the garden then.

The bunnies made quick work of my ground-level critter salad. I was so perturbed!!!

At the beginning of the summer, I had decided I wanted to devote a segment of the "upper deck" in our backyard to giant sunflowers. I always loved going east in search of miles and miles of sunflowers during August, but I've not been able to put much time into that the last couple of years. Naturally, I thought I could plant my own, not have to go anywhere other than my own backyard.

As I began leveling the first tier for a row of Mammoth sunflowers, I realized although young sunflowers follow the sun, once mature, they'd all face the fence. I wouldn't be able to snap the gorgeous photos I'd envisioned. My property faces the wrong direction!!!

I planted multiple individual seeds in yogurt containers, then transplanted the seedlings into the bricks lining our irrigation rocks. The bunnies ate them. I planted a second round. The bunnies ate them. I'm now on my third attempt, with barely enough season left for the seedlings to reach maturity. I haven't transplanted yet...

I'd strategically planted red sunflower seeds throughtout the garden back in May. Most became bunny food. But I have had one fully red sunflower so far this summer! It is located in the porch rail planter, where bunnies cannot reach!

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Snowflake Monday

Whenever I took my kids to the beach, they loved searching for sea shells and sand dollars. I think it quite possibly may have been one of their most favorite things to do in their youth. Well, that, and splashing in the waves...

We once rented a little cottage on the beach outside of Vancouver, and my kids lined the wooden porch railing with sea shells and sand dollars they wanted to dry and bring home. I can't remember if any of the collection actually made it home. I remember the smell, and I remember cleaning the sand off the porch before we checked out.

Little did I know way back then all the meaning behind a sand dollar! I thought one might look beautiful on a necklace. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the story potentially lurking within each sand dollar!

Some believe sand dollars are coins dropped by mermaids or residents of the City of Atlantis. Dreaming about sand dollars means you have hidden gifts and/or abilities. Some believe dreaming about sand dollars represents the ability to walk away from toxic environments/people.

Sand dollars cannot survive more than a few minutes out of water and are not white while they are alive. The sun bleaches beached sand dollars white over time. (My kids never found or collected colored sand dollars, only white ones.)

According to Catholic tradition, the top of the sand dollar features the Star of Bethlehem, representing the birth of Christ. The star is outlined by an Easter lily, representing the resurrection. The four holes along the edge of the sand dollar represent the nails in Christ's hand and feet, and the hole in the center represents the sword that pierced His side. The back side of the sand dollar displays the outline of the traditional Christmas flower, a poinsettia. If you break open a sand dollar (who would do such a thing?!?), it reveals five dove-shaped pieces. I can't attest to that last one; I've never broken a sand dollar. But it is thought when you break open a sand dollar, the five doves, representing peace and love, release goodwill into the world. (Oh, I guess that's why you would break one...)

We recently got to visit with my husband's nephew and his wife, and his wife was overwhelmed by the crochet-covered rocks in my garden. She asked if I could make one for her to take home to her mother. I got to make TWO covered rocks for this week!

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 4.5 inches from point to point
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread, size 7 crochet hook, empty pizza box, wax paper or plastic wrap, cellophane tape, water soluble school glue or desired stiffener, water, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line, 4- to 5-inch smooth, round, flattish river rock

Sea Biscuit Snowflake Instructions

Make magic ring.

Round 1: 12 sc in ring; sl st in starting sc. Pull magic circle tight.

Round 2: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), 1 dc in next sc, [ch 10, 1 dc in each of next 2 sc] 5 times; ch 4, 1 trtr in 2nd ch of starting ch 2 to form 6th ch 10 petal of Round.

Round 3: Ch 11 (counts as 1 sc and ch 10), [1 sc in next petal, ch 10] 5 times; sl st in 1st ch of starting ch 11.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.

Round 4: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), [1 dc in each of next 4 ch, 3 dc in next ch, ch 3, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, 3 dc in next ch, 1 dc in each of next 4 ch, 1 dc in next sc] 6 times; omitting last sc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2; bind off. Weave in ends.

Sea Biscuit Snowflake Rock Covering Instructions

Make magic ring.

Round 1: 12 sc in ring; sl st in starting sc. Pull magic circle tight.

Round 2: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), 1 dc in next sc, [ch 10, 1 dc in each of next 2 sc] 5 times; ch 4, 1 trtr in 2nd ch of starting ch 2 to form 6th ch 10 petal of Round.

Round 3: Ch 11 (counts as 1 sc and ch 10), [1 sc in next petal, ch 10] 5 times; sl st in 1st ch of starting ch 11.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.

Round 4: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), [1 dc in each of next 4 ch, 3 dc in next ch, ch 3, sl st in 3rd ch from hook (picot made), 3 dc in next ch, 1 dc in each of next 4 ch, 1 dc in next sc] 6 times; omitting last sc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2.

Round 5:Ch 7 (counts as 1 dc and [ch 5), [1 dc in next ch 5 sp, [[ch 5, 1 dc in next ch 3 sp], 2 times, ch 5, 1 dc in next ch 5 sp] 5 times, omitting last 3 ch and last dc of final repeat; 1 tr in 2nd ch of starting ch 7 to form 24th ch 5 sp of Round.

Round 6: Ch 7 (counts as 1 dc and [ch 5), 1 dc in next ch 5 loop] 22 times, omitting last dc and last 3 ch of final repeat; 1 tr in 2nd ch of starting ch 7 to form 24th ch 5 sp of Round.

Rounds 7-?: Ch 7 (counts as 1 dc and ch 5), [1 dc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5] 22 times; 1 dc in next ch 5 sp, ch 2, 1 tr in 2nd ch of starting ch 7 to form 24th ch 5 sp of Round. Continue with Round 7 until snowflake fits snugly around rock, leaving about a 1- to 2-inch opening on the back or bottom side.

Final Round, Rock Covering:Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), 1 dc in each ch 5 sp around, inserting rock after about 2/3rds of Round, gently stitching while finishing Round and closing up hole so as not to damage crochet hook; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2; bind off, leaving 4- to 5-inch tail. Weave end through final Round of dc and pull tight. Bind off again, weave in end. Place in garden!

Finish: I've been stiffening my flakes with undiluted, full-strength water soluble school glue for quite a while now, and I've been squishing the glue onto and throughout each flake with my fingers (yucky mess!!!) instead of gingerly painting the flakes with glue. Yes, it's a mess. But it's faster. And stiffer.

Tape wax paper or plastic wrap to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or plastic wrap.

If using glue, mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture or desired stiffener. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or plastic wrap. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.

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Friday Fantastic

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Pins and Needles

(affiliate links to my designs)

I'm publishing this blog post at 4:30 a.m.; the winners of Spoonflower's Winter Holiday Patchwork design contest will be announced in three and a half hours. I'll update this when results are announced, but I have to say, I'm so tickled with all the support I received, even if I don't break the top ten. Back in 2017, my Ocean Hexies design was hearted 38 times. As of the end of voting on Tuesday, my (half year) 2024 all-blue digital snowflake temperature quilt had been hearted 55 times. You guys are awesome!!!

Oh, well; it was fun!

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Wordless Wednesday

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The Journey

I never had a two-year-old, so I can't honestly claim I have any inkling of what it's like, but I think I understand a morsel of the experience now. I did babysit, and sometimes, it feels a bit like I'm babysitting now. Sometimes, it even feels like I have a two-year-old who has learned the power to declare loudly, even when he hasn't practiced his speech therapy, "No!" (Usually when I'm trying to coax him into daily speech therapy.)

I adopted. I adopted hard-to-place kids. I adopted kids whose previous adoptions failed. I fostered kids between placements. I fostered kids with horrific backgrounds. My terrible twos were cantankerous sevens and oppositional tens and defiant thirteens. I never gave birth, but boy, oh, boy, did I ever have labor pains. I always thought there was nothing quite as taxing as teenagers. Especially troubled teenagers. I mistakenly thought troubled teenagers were the worst thing I might experience. I've learned a stubborn adult with Parkinson's can be every bit as rebellious as a teenager.

As an adoptive parent with ongoing (and often overbearing) supervision and monitoring by government agencies, I often felt I wasn't a parent, only a babysitter. I had to apply (well in advance) for permission to do common things most other parents don't give a second thought. I had to have permission to take kids to church, to take kids to a doctor, to take kids on vacation, to schedule IEP meetings with educational staff, etc, etc, etc... In restrospect, I guess I always had to prepare for the worst and expect the bizarre. It was a lifestyle. I adapted because I wanted to be a parent, and that was the only way I could accomplish the goal. I knew it would be a hard thing, but I had learned through the process I can do hard things. I think that experience serves me well now. There are so many hard things.

I wanted to make life better for someone who needed love and second (and third and hundred and twenty-seventh) chances. I wanted to teach abused children how to love and trust. I wanted to love and trust someone others thought was unloveable and untrustworthy. I wanted to love unconditionally.

Once I completed that journey (which actually is never finished, even if your adoptee runs away, even through years of no contact, and even if, upon unexpected reconciliation, the now-grown adoptee vows to never adopt your lifestyle, your beliefs, your outlook on life), I still had that insatiable hunger to share adventures, teach, learn and love unconditionally. I wanted to be part of a familial unit that lasts forever.

I found Lizard. He was the most incredible human being I'd ever met. We experienced 17 of the most joyous years anyone could ever expect or plan. There were hard times, particularly involving my adopted kids. There was sadness and heartache along the way; the death of his brother, my health issues, work struggles, financial challenges, home repairs. But I woke up every morning knowing I'd get to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful human being who respects me, loves me and treats me as if I am the most important person on earth.

Lizard was grateful the diagnosis was Parkinson's. I still remember the day he told me everything would be all right because it was "just" Parkinson's. Not ALS, as we'd feared.

Neither of us had any inkling how vicious Parkinson's can be. Lizard expected to one day not remember me, and I would always assure him, "We'll just start dating all over again and fall head over heals in love all over again. It will always be a new adventure. We will always fall in love again."

We were so oblivious.

For many, Parkinson's is tremors. For many, there are memory and/or balance issues. Sometimes there are digestive issues. Communication issues are common. These things we knew. We hoped we wouldn't experience the full throttle, but we thought we knew what we were facing. We didn't anticipate skin conditions, hallucinations and dementia. Never in a million years would we have expected psychosis. Every person is different; every person experiences Parkinson's differently. Not everyone experiences every symptom. We never expected to experience the full spectrum, and then some.

Almost everyone who is diagnosed with Parkinson's learns very quickly that staying active is the key to happiness. Boy, were we going to seize that bull by the horns!!! We experienced more adventures in our (too brief) first 15 years together than most couples experience in a lifetime. This week we celebrate our 19th anniversary. I'm SO grateful for so many years and so many memories!!! And yet, it feels every day as if more of my favorite person is being harshly snatched away from me.

Everyone who is diagnosed with Parkinson's has their own unique journey. Lizard's wellness goals have been fraught with trauma that continually ramps up the Parkinson's. When your Parkinson's-specialist neurologist tells you he's never seen a case move this fast, you feel almost abandoned. Lost and all alone in a wicked nightmare. You still have all the resources, and you still keep trying to do all the right things. But nothing works. Nothing slows the Parkinson's. Nothing stops what feels like a car careening down a narrow and curvy canyon at 90 mph with no brakes. No breaks. Literally.

This isn't the life we planned or expected. We definitely wouldn't have chosen it. I recently joined a new online support group that focuses on the silver lining of Parkinson's. Because I desperately need that. I'm not sure it really exists.

We often tell each other there are many who have it much worse, and we try to do what we can to help others. That's always been such a key part of our lives. But as the Parkinson's progresses, it keeps robbing us. Lizard's abilities. His personality. His strength. His peace of mind. His happiness. His passions. His willingness to cope.

I often catch myself wondering why I don't have time to exercise, to crochet, to design, to edit snowflake photos, to quilt, to read, to sit peacefully and just ponder...

This is my schedule these days. I work, sometimes more than ten hours per day. Thankfully, from home all but a few hours each week. And, extremely thankfully, for bosses who understand the multitude of interuptions. When I'm not working, I help Lizard tend to personal tasks he can no longer do alone. I organize for him. I try to help him find misplaced things. I help him clean up spills and accidents. I walk with him when his legs are restless. I massage his legs when they are restless. I get up when he gets up. I try to be there for him every time he needs help. More and more often every day now, sometimes every hour, I try to calm him and assure him he is safe and that I will always protect him.

I spend what time I can on my knees begging God to please take the hallucinations away. We can deal with the rest. Please, please, just take this one thing away.

But the hallucinations continue to get worse.

I believe in miracles. I know not everyone can be healed just because a prayer is offered. I can see tender mercies every hour of every day. I know God loves me, and I know He loves Lizard. I see proof continually.

I know some of the hard things we go through help us to become stronger. I've learned I am stronger than I realize. I'm never going to give up.

But there are moments when the loss is just so overwhelming. The loss of my life companion, my soul mate, the person I could turn to for everything. The loss of cycling and climbing. The loss of the mountains. The loss of adventure and exploration. The loss of photography and designing. The loss of writing. The loss of social interaction. The loss of freedom. Sometimes, the loss of sanity...

There is shut-in-ness. There are agonizing hours of tantrums fueled by psychosis. There are blurts of anger and frustration over the loss of control and independence. There are so many sleepless nights, that is now our norm. There are so many tears, my pillow often resembles a leaky waterbed.

We were encouraged in April to share our journey to help raise awareness during Parkinson's Awareness Month. I sat down to the computer several times to try to compose something I could be proud of and that might help others. I chuckled at the meme about Parkinson's awareness lasting a lot longer than one month when you're actually dealing with Parkinson's.

At the end of each day, all I've got is faith and hope. I know one day Lizard will be whole again. I know our reunion on the other side is going to be the most joyous experience either of us has ever known. I long for that day. I miss my best friend so much, I can't wait to be in his arms again.

Until then, I'll just keep trying to get through each challenge as best I can. I'll keep trying to calm and soothe him. I'll keep looking forward to the day I know eventually will come.

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