09 September 2011

Friday Funny

bein' a goofball

This is not something I wanted to share. But The Lizard said I must. He said it made him laugh. Hard.

Many people have inquired how I could possibly ride to work and concentrate much less endure a cubicle day sweaty and chamoised. More importantly, how do my co-workers tolerate the sights and aroma of my 30 gnat-littered miles morning after morning?

The office where I work has a workout facility, showers and locker rooms. Thank heavens!!! I have a locker. I keep spare clothes there to change into on the days I ride. We have a place to hang our own personal towels to dry. We have a place to store our own personal shampoo and other necessities. So I do get to clean up each day before my co-workers must put up with me for eight hours straight.

drape meAnd now comes the latest entry into my top ten Life's Most Embarrassing Moments list. I really do not want to disclose this. Lizard, are you SURE you want me to do this???

Lizard: Do it!

Two weeks before Pikes Peak, I hit the bike path hard. I rode almost every day, and I pushed as hard as I could. I stood on my bike climbing the hills. I tried to set a new personal record each day. I pretended one day to be on a single speed and never dropped down into an easier gear. I made my thighs burn. Stealing a line from an unknown source, I did not sweat. I leaked. But that's not THE embarrassing thing. Although it was...

On Friday, I took all the locker clothes home for a good cleaning. It was time. The following week was vacation. “Vacation, all I ever wanted!!!” On Monday I successfully pedaled the mountain bike up Mount Evans. On Wednesday, The Lizard and I both pedaled up Cottonwood Pass to watch the Queen’s Stage of the USA Pro Cycling Challenge, which was, by the way, the most fun I've ever had on a bicycle. That night, the two-week-old new brakes failed again on the way home from Buena Vista. Thursday, I spent an entire day of vacation waiting for the brakes and everything to which they are connected to be replaced yet again. Friday, with less than 50 miles on the new brakes, they failed again. Vacation foiled.

There wasn’t time to get them replaced again before Pikes Peak. We got our bikes to Colorado Springs, we rode, we came home. The following Monday, I returned to work after a week away and after taking the car in yet again and venting a bit about trust and other related issues after losing three sets of brand new brakes, drums and cylinders in two months.

This time, the shop used factory parts instead of after-market parts. This time, the car took two days to get repaired, so I couldn’t ride again on Tuesday. This time, the car actually felt like a new car when I picked it up! This time, I had confidence the brakes might last another 50,000 or more miles.

On Wednesday, I got on that bike and pedaled joyfully because the car seems to be fine, I don’t HAVE to train furiously, and because the weather was beautiful. I could ride because I wanted to ride. I could ride because I love to ride. I didn’t have to get ready for anything!

Well, except work, once I arrived at the office. I went upstairs to shower and discovered an empty locker. I had nothing to change into but a beach towel. With half an hour to be at my desk.

Fortunately, this story does have a happy ending. One of my co-stairclimbers let me borrow the outfit she keeps at work for just in case. And I have learned to never, ever, not in a million years, ever take my spare clothes home to wash before a vacation. I’ve learned my memory shouldn’t really be trusted after I’ve been at altitude one too many times!

the locker room


  1. Oh dear...but lucky you, in spite of your bad memory =)

  2. Now I'm wondering if you discovered the missing clothes before or after you were naked in the shower! I am visualizing you wandering in a beach towel around the office trying find someone to loan you clothes. I'm sure that it didn't happen that way... but it makes me laugh harder.

    I think that partially occurred to me because our dog R LOVES to sneak into the bathroom while someone is showering and steal the clothes that they have laid out to wear. It's no big deal if we have no house guests... but if we do... or if he does it to a guest... Yes, embarrassment.

  3. Oh my ...of course sadly it seems these things do happen during our short and brief not often enough vacations....but I like that you remained sane through all of this ...I guess it shows what we can bank our trust in too, and thank goodness for sweet helping friends when you need them! I must say though that photo (what a dreamy view that is) and one I've tried to shoot and not yet shot like wow you did here...your story is fab for Funny Friday but that fantastically finely shot photo is far from funny! Ha ha ....have a great weekend and hopefully no issues!

  4. That is hilarious! (and painfully familiar) There is no shower or locker or concession to athletics of any sort in the government building I work in. Somehow, I think I may be the only person in the building who bike commutes regularly- no matter the weather.

    I keep my Bulgari shower/shampoo gel in my desk drawer and wash my hair in the bathroom sink. There've been several times when I've stumbled blindly around my office, looking for spare clothes I thought I'd stashed in random filing cabinets. I had one day (from hell) spent in cycling clothes modified only by a random fleece I had tucked under my desk. Luckily, I wore my mountain bike cargo capri pants that day- but ugh.

    I laughed (ruefully) reading this Friday Funny. Lizard was right- you did have to share that. Makes me feel more human :)

  5. That PHOTO deserves a comment all its very own. It woulda knocked my socks off if I hadn't left them on my front porch this morning.

    I keep coming back to look at it. The fingernail moon, the sky, the colors... just exquisite.

  6. Thanks for making me laugh, KB and Ti!

    I hope this goes without saying... I photoshopped the moon into the Denver skyline. It wasn't really there...

  7. Very cute story.....on a side note-- Congrats on the 3k milestone!

  8. I can see how that would happen! I'm lucky I work out of my home or who knows what would happen?!

    That photo at the top of your post is absolutely awesome ... the moon adds a lot! :)

  9. I did sort of wonder about Photoshopping ... but a stunning composition nonetheless.

    Your towel tale sounds almost like a funny nightmare - one of the ones you wake up from deeply grateful that it was only a dream after all. So glad your co-worker was able to help out! So hard not to wonder what would have happened if there were no clothes available. Aaauuugh!


Dusty words lying under carpets,
seldom heard, well must you keep your secrets
locked inside, hidden deep from view?
You can talk to me... (Stevie Nicks)

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