Change of Heart

Typically, when I ask AI to render an image to illustrate one of my blog posts, it takes several renderings before I can finally get something at least a little close to the artwork I can see in my head. Not this time! AI got it right on the first render!!! (The AI-generated exploding laptop video below took three tries, and I gave up after that.)

Sometimes, the frustration of working with AI is not that much different from trying to eek a bit more life out of a 2016 laptop.

Why do I even trust this stupid piece of machinery anymore??? I have a 2022 model I'm using right now to type this. (Besides the fact that the new computer is on a standing desk, and sometimes, it's just nice to sit...) The old laptop is no longer supported. It can't run most of my programs. And it crashes so darned often!

The main reason I keep the old laptop is because it runs a legacy version of Photoshop, which runs filters and actions I purchased years and years ago. The new laptop doesn't support that version of Photoshop, and I can't run any of my purchased filters on the new laptop. New versions of most of these filters were never created. There are all kinds of tutorials on YouTube demonstrating how to create the effects, such as kaleidoscopes, which was (and still is) my favorite Photoshop filter. I've actually learned how to manually make kaleidoscopes. But I like the old filter MUCH, MUCH better. I used to play with that thing for hours.

I have two apps on my phone that create kaleidoscopes as I take photos. They are fun to play with, but the control just isn't as refined.

And then there are the Fractalius filters. I don't use them as often anymore, but I loved having them so I could use them when I had the inkling to do so. I've purchased them again for the new computer. They've never worked. I've tried every mode of help I can find, and we cannot get the filters to work on my newer laptop.

So every once in a while, I resort to editing photos on the old laptop. It's something I can do quietly while Lizard is watching television. Here is my most recent old laptop Photoshop Fractalius image.

I've also become very accustomed to responding to emails on the old laptop for the very same reason. I can do it quietly while Lizard is watching TV. I can do Bible study on the old laptop because it doesn't interfere with Lizard's nightly Star Trek obsession. Last April, I realized I could keep notes from General Conference on the old laptop while Lizard and I watched the live stream together. I planned to do the same thing again during the October General Conference.

I began having difficulty accessing the internet on the old laptop three days before Conference began. No big deal, really, because I don't do much internetting on that computer other than email. I just need it to save what I create to my private network so I can later access it on the newer computer. I should have taken that hint to not be so trusting of old technology. But did I listen to the prompting???

By the third speaker during the first Saturday session, I'd lost internet access on the old laptop (the TV was still fine, so I knew it wasn't an internet outage). Not a problem, except that I couldn't save my notes to my network. I decided to reboot to see if that would make a difference. I had to take notes from the next two speakers on my phone because the old laptop takes so long to start up. When I finally got back onto the old laptop, I still couldn't access the internet. So I couldn't email my phone notes to myself to copy and paste. I had to retype them. I was frustrated. But I had my notes. I had to repeat this process in the afternoon and then again in the evening. I was growing in frustration, but I had my notes.

Sunday morning, the same thing happened. This time, the laptop would not even save my notes from the first two speakers. I'd made the fatal mistake of saving all of my conference notes from each of the sessions in one document. I was scared I was going to lose all my notes from Saturday, too. I took photos of the computer screen before I attempted to reboot, then checked my new laptop to see if I had anything at all on the network. The network copy had only the first two speakers from Saturday. I was beyond frustrated. I was ready to yell. I wanted to throw the old laptop out the back window.

While this was happening, Ulisses Soares was speaking. Even though I was frustrated and even desperate in trying to save my notes, I was listening. I was modifying my behavior as he spoke because of the things he said. I never yelled. I didn't slam anything. I did cry. Boy, did I cry. But I acted with temperance, something that doesn't always come naturally for me these days. I shut down the old laptop. I moved the newer laptop into the living room and set it up so I could retype all my notes I'd photographed with my phone. I finished taking notes from the morning session of conference, then spent the break retyping what I'd lost. I then "rewound" the morning session of conference to listen to Elder Soares again to make sure I absorbed every single thing he said. And I'm glad I did. I needed it. I need to listen to this talk every single day until I can change my heart and my instincts. I want to be more Christlike. And I'm thankful for the lesson this experience has taught me.

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Hubba Hubba

Last year when I lost access to Photoshop because my personal laptop is so old (about 2016, I think), I was forced to upgrade to Windows 10, even though I did not want to (and wasn't entirely certain it would work). After the upgrade, which I still don't really like, I realized the day will come when I will be forced to buy a new laptop. Even if the old one still works just fine (albeit a bit slow...).

Not only did I lose access to Photoshop prior to my software upgrade, I also lost the ability to work from home via my personal laptop. I now have a work-issued laptop I can use at home exclusively for work. It won't run any of my other programs, and I don't spend work time working on personal stuff anyway...

We were at my in-law's for a week when a work crisis arose, and I wasn't able to help because my old computer was too old. My co-workers handled the situation with my verbal guidance (over the phone), but insecurity rooted. I've had enough internet outages at home to know the day will come when I cannot work from my personal laptop, even in a pinch. I can set up a personal hot spot on my phone and access the internet via my personal laptop when necessary, but I can't use my phone to get the work laptop online. If we lose internet during work hours (which happened five times last year), I have to hurriedly drive to downtown Denver to work in the office. This is not a fun task on a snowy day.

My mother-in-law wanted me to be able to continue working from home, so she helped me buy a new laptop last summer. I have now spent the last seven months trying to get that mini monster up and running.

Modern laptops these days don't come with adequate ports for you to plug in your keyboard (because the laptop's is SO tiny), your wireless mouse (because the touchpad is a pain in the everything!!!) and your full-size monitor (so you can actually see the documents you are working on without a magnifying glass). So you have to have a docking station.

External hard drives (still used by people like me who don't want to put all their personal stuff "in the cloud") won't run on inexpensive docking stations (that usually have only three ports anyway). You have to use a powered docking station.

New laptops don't come with CD drives (because who needs that when you are storing everything in the cloud???). External CD drives won't run on inexpensive docking stations. You have to use a powered docking station.

Not knowing half of the above details when I ordered the new computer, I ordered a cheap little hub from the same manufacturer that built the computer. Because the middle-of-the-line full-sized docking station runs more than $200. The computer alone was expensive enough! And I had to buy the external CD drive, too.

When I discovered I didn't have enough ports and couldn't run my external hard drive and CD drive via the mini hub, one of the IT guys from the office gave me, for free, a full-size hub by the same manufacturer he had "just laying around." I gave him a dozen cookies. He seemed very happy.

As of January 1, 2023, my 2016 laptop could be determined as not compatible with Photoshop, Windows, Citrix or any host of other programs or peripherals at any time, quite possibly without a moment's notice. So I decided I should get serious about getting that new laptop running by the beginning of the year.

It took me three weeks!!!

Turned out the mini hub I'd purchased was defective. Turned out the donated docking station was defective. Turned out I had to buy a new docking station, which didn't have enough ports for what I needed. Which meant I had to buy yet another docking station.

And now, after all this, finally, my new personal laptop is up and running. I still prefer the old one. And I still hate Windows 10. I hate Microsoft more than ever. But my new personal laptop works, and I can work from home with it in a bind. I am, officially, connected.

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Forgiveness

I love what my youngest brother did to try to #LightTheWorld last month.

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Fury Unleashed

Last November, I blew off steam by writing the blog post below in the hopes I might get some sleep. I was pretty fired up that day, and I think I didn't sleep, even though I tried to vent before head hit pillow.

Now I've had a chance to calm down, and I'm not depressed about what happened anymore. I've rewritten the most harsh portions of the post, but there are nuggets of gold here and there buried within the trauma. There are things we all can do to be safe in our homes, and that's why I decided to go ahead and share a watered-down version of what I wrote on a very dark day.


My dad woke up this morning to a call from a credit card company. Someone was attempting to make fraudulent charges on my parents' card. Thank heavens it was caught almost immediately, and the charges were not processed.

My dad was somewhat groggy and incoherent when the phone rang, so it took a bit of sunshine and head-clearing for him to realize his wallet was missing. Then he noticed his iPad was missing. Then he noticed every single key in the house was missing.

My mom had alarmed the car the night before. My dad went out to the driveway... the empty driveway...

The burglars had taken the keys, so they were able to de-arm the alarm with ease. My mom's car was gone.

My dad went back inside the house, now wide awake but in a state of unabashed panic. He woke my mom, who now was drowsy and not entirely understanding the gravity of the situation yet.

"We've got to call all the credit card companies! We've got to call the bank! We've got to call the insurance companies!" my dad directed with agitation and frustration.

My mom grabbed her purse from the dresser and went to the kitchen, where she discovered her phone was missing.


By the time both my parents calmed enough to alert police, as if that's even possible in this type of situation, my mom had forgotten she carried her purse into the kitchen. For a short while, both my parents panicked because they thought my mom's purse had been stolen, too. From the bedroom, while they slept. This was just too close for comfort. Literally.

As my parents began checking around the house to find out what else was missing, they realized the burglars indeed had been in the hallway right next to the bedroom. Both my parents are elderly, and my dad is becoming more frail with age. My parents would not have been able to defend themselves.

They realized their little dog had not barked during the night. Then they realized if the burglar(s) had awakened the dog, who had been sleeping with them, all three of them might be dead now.

Thank heavens for humongous miracles.

As the day progressed my parents realized, with the help of police and neighbors, their home (and possibly the entire neighborhood) had been methodically cased for at least two weeks.

I'm writing this because I'm angry my parents have been terrorized and are fearful of living in their own home now. But I'm also writing this to spread knowledge of the depths to which criminals have sunk. If I can help others be safe and not fall victim to this asinine scheme, I will do whatever it takes.


About two weeks before the break-in, my mom went out to the car for her weekly trip to the grocery store. One of the brand new tires was flat. She tried to get the car up on the jack but was unable, so she summoned my dad, who also was unable to accomplish the task.

Three "boys" on bikes appeared out of nowhere and offered to assist. Although they did put the spare on and secure the damaged tire, they also did things my parents now realize made them uncomfortable, but they were so grateful for the help at the time, they didn't notice.

The "boys" verbally noticed my parents' health conditions. They seemed to be too interested in what was inside the car and the backyard, as well as the house. More than once, they pointed out my dad's health. They also seemed to be paying a little too much attention to neighborhood homes.

A couple of days later, police showed up at my parents' house for a wellness check because they'd received a distress call from that location. A couple of days later, it happened again. Then a third time, this time in the middle of the night.


Police now have informed my family this happens when criminals use anonymous disposable cell phones to determine how long it takes for police to arrive at a specific location. The criminals had it down to a science by the third time. I wish someone had figured this out prior to the break-in. Spread the word far and wide. Please don't ever let this happen to you or someone you love.

A couple of days later, my mom returned home from church to find a neighbor at the front door trying to contact my dad, who had not been feeling well. The neighbor had observed one of the "boys" on my nephew's bike with a large bag of "stuff", leaving my parents' backyard. He confronted the "boy", who claimed to be a grandson. The neighbor knew my now married-with-three-kids-of-his-own nephew well enough to accuse the "boy" of lying. The "boy" sped off. The neighbor, also elderly, ran to his car and attempted to chase down the "boy" because the whole situation just didn't seem right. He wasn't able to catch up to the "boy," though. So he'd gone to my parents' front door to alert them.

Police were notified, and descriptions were taken. Losses were minor, and no one felt unsafe. My parents at that time still had not made the connection to the flat tire.

It took the break-in and a more thorough investigation before the police were able to connect all the activity to a deliberate scam.

The "boys" had flattened my mom's brand new tire. They knew neighborhood comings and goings. They knew how much time was required to make a clean getaway. They even knew where car keys were stored and which vehicles were routinely alarmed. One of the "boys" who helped fix the flat tire is the same "boy" who stole the bicycle from the backyard. Police are convinced now these "boys" are the burglars, and the whole experience was premeditated by experienced "boys" who know exactly what they are doing.


I hate to be suspicious of the kindness of strangers, especially in today's world, but now I realize it's necessary. Especially in today's world.

Please be very cautious and alert when help comes out of nowhere. Please never be afraid to contact neighbors or someone you trust when something goes wrong with your vehicle. Please form neighborhood watch programs. Know your neighbors, and watch out for each other.

Please keep an updated list of all your credit cards, and please don't store anything with personal information in your glove compartment. EVER.

Please don't keep your phone, keys, phone, purse and wallet neatly together near the front door or any entrance/exit. Please do not leave credit cards out where they may be seen.

Be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of routines that might set you up to be a victim. Shake things up every once in a while. Don't follow the very same routine day after day after day. Make sure elderly and potentially vulnerable friends and loved ones are safe and secure once in a while. Just check on them now and then, and keep the bonds strong and healthy.

And please always make sure to keep in touch with your elderly relatives. Never let an opportunity to express love escape.

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