Yuck! This grass tastes like dirt!
Ever since certain legislation was passed in my altitude-endowed state, the saying "I get high in Colorado" offers a double-bladed meaning.
I like to climb 14ers (and lesser peaks), and I like to bike mountain passes, but "Rocky Mountain High in Colorado" has a whole new meaning now.
I recently got a huge chuckle from higher news in my old digs, back in New Mexico. A woman in my early years stomping grounds, Alamogordo, found five (at least) 13-year-old bricks of the stuff to get high with in a panel of a van during repairs. Police said the stash was worthless because it was so old.
Hilarious comments ensued!
"Worthless?!? Let ME be the judge of that!"
"Worthless? Worth less than fresh, you mean."
"Worthless," said the Police Chief as he exhaled a large cloud of smoke. "Got any Freetos?"
"How do they know? It could be like wine and get better with age!"
"Let's ask the professionals... Cheech and Chong."
"OK, so how many of you just ran outside to tear your door panels off? Raise your hand."
"I even checked my neighbor's door panels!"
"Proof weed affects memory."
"Pictures, or it didn't happen!"
"Remember that 'Rosanne' episode when she and Dan found some of their old stash from before the kids were born? Seemed to work pretty well for them."
"In related news, the Alamogordo Policeman's Ball is gonna be caaa-razy this year!"
"Why is it something like this never happens to me?"
"What?!? They called the cops!?!?!"
"Might want to keep an eye on the officers who carted it off."
"The van should have a HIGH trade-in value..."
"If this mom has teenagers, I bow to their skills of persuasion."
"13.5 pounds, and no one could smell it? I want to know what kind of van she has!"
"It seems doubtful to me that this is true. Living in New Mexico, she would have been stopped at a Border Patrol Checkpoint at some point. Those drug dogs would not have missed five bricks of pot!"
Which brings me to Part II of this hopefully funny post...
I spent six months serving on a grand jury in Otero County before moving to Colorado. Most of the cases we heard were exactly that... motorists caught with illegal substances by Border Patrol officers. We'd demand to see the K9 pooch in action. Every.Single.Time. Didn't matter how many times we'd seen that dog and how sure we were he knew his stuff. Watching him go directly for the well-buried pot every time we hid it was a treat! We could never hide it from him, and he could he detect who had hidden it each time. Amazing animal!
This grass gives me the munchies.