27 August 2021

Friday Funny

I've been trying to downsize stuff in basement boxes, and my current box contained this gem, written by my daughter (me typing as she dictated) when she was in middle school. Names have been changed to protect the Hardly Innocent. I can't stop giggling!!!

Last night when Raz went to bed, she didn't see the gremlin who snuck in her room with her. After she went to sleep, he got into her glitter, her fingernail polish and her hairspray.

This morning when she got up, all her stuff was gone. But her walls were sparkly and her shoes all smelled like perfume! Raz thought her brother Taz had played with her stuff. She marched right down to his room and screamed at him.

"Taz! You give me back my fingernail polish before I make you wear it to school!" she yelled.

Taz threw a pillow at her and went back to sleep.

Raz asked her mom what happened to her glitter. Her mom had pink and green eyes, blue lips and purple sparkly hair!

"Mom! Did you take my glitter?" Raz asked. Her mom was really angry.

"No more glitter for you, young lady!" her mom said.

Raz began looking around the house for her glitter. She found glitter footprints and began following them. The footprints went to Jazz's house.

Raz knocked on Jazz's door. Jazz opened the door. She had red hair and orange eyes!

"Raz, did you do this to me while I was sleeping?" Jazz asked.

"No," Raz answered. "But I'm trying to find my stolen glitter."

Jazz decided to help Raz follow the glitter footprints. They went down the street to the bus stop. Someone had written "Backstreet Boys! Drool!" all over the bus stop in hot pink glitter. When the 40X came, Raz noticed the bus had red and green glitter all over it.

The bus driver let Raz and Jazz ride the bus for free to solve the mystery. They went downtown and saw sparkles everywhere. There were orange and blue sparkles on Mile High Stadium and red and blue sparkles on the Pepsi Center. Even Republic Plaza had sparkles on top of it!

Raz and Jazz followed the glitter footprints down Cherry Creek to the mall. Inside the mall, they searched the WB store. Sure enough, there was the gremlin, hiding in a Mickey Mouse costume and covered with glitter!

Raz picked him up by the neck and threatened to hang him on the Christmas tree upside down. He stuck his glittery tongue out at her. Then he told her he couldn't give anything back because he'd used it all up.

Raz and Jazz dragged him to the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and dunked him in chocolate! The gremlin loved it. But Raz set him on the 16th Street Mall, and pretty soon, two homeless kids ate the chocolate-covered gremlin.

Raz and Jazz went back to the mall to buy more glitter. Taz moved out and joined the military, where he hoped he would be assigned to bomb a glitter factory.

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Dusty words lying under carpets,
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