06 September 2018

Dinostitches


A recent "news" story kept me in dinosaur stitches! After the Jurassic Park/World movies, people were actually frightened a dinosaur could munch on them while they try to escape.

As it turns out, T-Rex really couldn't have outrun a Jeep.

"Okay, it was as tall as a house, fast as a jogger, could bite a utility pole in half, and can swallow me whole. Why is anyone trying to convince me not to be afraid?" - Tom

"I feel so much safer now that I know I might be able to outrun it." - Ed

"They only needed to be faster than breakfast, lunch and dinner." - T

"I got my info about dinosaurs from Fred Flintstone, not some scientist who has no clue and was never there at that time." - Thomas Edison

"Elephants technically can't run either, but they still chase people down and wreck things without hesitation. If T-Rex were longer, carnivorous elephants of that era, that's STILL VERY TERRIFYING." - Brightly

"Mummies walk 1 mph, but they get you with stamina and persistence." - Doug

"The T-Rex image already took a hit back when we found out he was a big chicken. Literally! So what if he walks a bit slow?" - BigFire

"Not sure why I need to believe anything the University of Manchester is saying about dinosaurs when I've seen Jurassic Park with my own eyes. Having seen SEVERAL movies with dinosaurs in them, I'm pretty sure I know what they looked like and how they behaved. " - Rachel

"'T-Rex hunted its food differently, either by attacking 'large, slow herbivores' or hiding and then attacking smaller animals. I find it quite humorous to imagine an enormous T-Rex trying to hide behind things to sneak up on prey." - 57messier

"It's been known for a while that T-Rex in the movie wasn't chasing the vehicle. It was running from Chuck Norris." - Short Bus

"In Africa, as hard as killing prey is, very often keeping it is harder. So my hypothesis is that T-Rex smelled someone's fresh kill, then walked up to it and stole it from whoever killed it." - DavidE

"If your prey was a lumbering planteater shuffling along at 8-10 mph, there's really no need for the apex predator like T-Rex to hit 20 mph or more. 10-12 mph would be fast enough." - Rada

"Oh good, I thought the article was going to say that T-Rex actually have long arms. Whew... T-Rex memes are safe!" - Anthony N

"Well, According to the Bible, when the world was created, about 6,000 years ago, when people and dinosaurs coexisted, T-rex's primary food source had to have been people." - BruceB

"Maybe next year they will have the new U-Rex available, now that T-Rex is obsolete." - CC

"Imagine running too fast and your legs break from the strain - hardly a common problem for man or animals of today. There has to be some other limiting factor or we'd find a lot of legless T-Rex fossils." - Y

"You can outrun a T-Rex while wearing high heels. How much is 12 mph again?" - Luminus

"Next time I see a T-Rex, I'll just slap him upside the head and run away." - MichaelR

"So T-rex coming out of nowhere and helping some velociraptors take down an Indominus Rex is more realistic than it chasing a fast car or other dinos? Huh???" - Daks

"I think the little arms they always show were actually the leading edge of a wing like on a bat. The T-Rex flew to get prey, so didn't have to run. How do I know? I found a two-inch fossil and interpreted the data." - Joe T

"Once successfully cloned we can be sure of its abilities." - MAD

"How fast do you have to be to catch a goat tethered to a post?" - Science Officer

"Just speed up the animation... see? It's running now." - Woohoo

"Okay, author, you stand in front of one. I'll wait, waaay over there..." - Michael

"DeLorean+Flux Capacitor+Plutonium or Lightning Bolt. Then you can tell us how fast it really ran." - Chris

"You mean in a race between T-Rex in lane number 5, and humans in lanes 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 and 7, the humans would beat T-Rex??? How can I ever watch Jurassic Park when the people may prove to be more dangerous than the dinosaurs?" - Vivonell

"T-Rex were not hunters. They had office jobs. Evolution made it possible for T-Rex to adjust their arms to fit across a keyboard and type 300,000 words per minute. The only known problem was bathroom breaks and trying to clean up afterward. That's when the bidet was invented." - Omar

"It's a little-known fact that T-Rex invented stealth technology to be able to hide more effectively. Because they were woefully slow, they ordered rocket-powered roller skates from ACME to be able to efficiently hunt prey. Later Wile E. Coyote tried this. Obviously, body weight mattered. Fortunately, T-Rex had access to balloon tires for the skates... Hey it's as good a theory as a 20-foot-high, several-ton predator hiding behind a bush to ambush prey." - Matt

"In other news, water is wet." - Dave

"This isn't news; it's dinosaur dung." - F

1 comment :

  1. haha good to know they can be out ran when time travel is invented and some idiot brings them back from the past or aliens drop them off. 300,000 wpm would put a lot out of work. Trump won't let them in lol

    ReplyDelete


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