I'm finally beginning to get back on my bicycle, and I've finally begun recording the miles of the new chapter of my life.
It is not easy. I cry every single ride. My first time back on the bike, I cried the whole way. And so did the sky.
It was the only real rain we've had so far this season.
I miss my Chief Riding Partner. I miss his encouragement. I miss his humor. But I'm beginning to reclaim the wonderful memories. I'm beginning to mentally put the difficult memories in a box on a shelf I hope will be too high for me to easily reach.
From about the second week after Lizard passed, I've been saying, "Our anniversary is coming" instead of "It would have been our anniversary".
Because we've been sealed. This is forever. We can't spend our 21st anniversary together tomorrow, him enjoying a chicken fried steak, but we can both observe a tremendous milestone. Just in different places. He's in heaven. I'm spending the day in the temple. That's the closest I can get to heaven. And that's where I hope I can feel closest to Lizard.
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Dusty words lying under carpets,
seldom heard, well must you keep your secrets
locked inside, hidden deep from view?
You can talk to me... (Stevie Nicks)
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