22 September 2017

Friday Funny


September 23 is doomsday for some. I'd not heard about this, but researching it led me to some very interesting reads, as well as a few inspirations for outer space novels!

"Whenever you find someone who is 100% sure the earth is going end on a certain date, ask them to sign over all of their possessions starting the day after." - LargeFarva

"#$%$!!! I just booked a Restaurant for the 24th! Suppose I'd better cancel!" - Timothy

"And this guy's vote counts the same as yours. Let that sink in for a minute." - L

"Knowing my luck it will hit just before the last 'Game of Thrones' episode is broadcast!" - Richard

"Well, I hope it's not until the afternoon because I have an appointment in the morning on that day to get my flu jab." - Dr. Redthumb

"So what about the Andromeda Galaxy moving toward the Milky Way at 250,000 mph. It's set to hit us in 4 billion years' time. Should we worry about that, too?" - Martin

"Yes, he's probably right about all that. Also, I heard when I was 6 years old that if every single human being on the earth spit at exactly the same time, there would be a huge flood." - Sylus

"In my country, 99% of people believe in the existence of aliens. Out a total population of 21 million, we have around 225 Aliens. All of them live in palatial mansions and have secret meetings, once a week, at a huge venue called the Parliament. Having made a lot of money over a five-year term, they revert to becoming humanoid again if they lose a race to retain their Alien qualities." - M.R. Sufi Dole

"I'm still betting on Dec 31. My calendar ends there, so someone must know something we don't." - Moe

"What if the eclipse everyone saw was actually Nibaru? Note the timing of changes of weather patterns and effects, earthquakes and even the timing of war by Red China, who has a super-secret 2000-year-old Ministry of Astrology. One could confirm this by a reversal of the direction the North Pole has been migrating to for so long. How amazing that Florida and the Caribbean Islands line up right along Hurricane Alley. Is that how they've been formed over the Millennia? Is the whole Climate Change beeswax just to prevent wide-spread panic?" - Rick A.

"I hope it does destroy the world on Sept. 23 because my mother-in-law is coming for a visit on the 29th." - Marie

"Does this mean I can skip my next two mortgage payments?" - Lawrence

"'the planet (along with a shower of other debris) will smash into Earth, killing much of the human race in October – except for government employees who will (of course) flee into underground bunkers.' - Impressive bunkers or a very small planet meaning Pluto might get reinstated... Woo!" - Nuitari

"There should be a BS tax. People have to pay in order to spew their garbage, and that money could be put toward proper science education." - Ted

"The world we were accustomed to ended years ago. Time flashed, and we entered an alternate universe where no one minds their own business and everyone is triggered and hurt by anything that happens they don't fully agree with." - Eric T.

"Better use those vacation days in the next few weeks." - Mike G.

"Not sure about ya'll, but I think this would be a great movie. Imagine the special effects! WOW! Could rival the Star Wars series." - NS

"I wanted to type something snarky and very troll-like, but the seriousness of this article wouldn't allow me to keep a straight face long enough to come up with something. So I just typed this and hit 'post' instead. And I just spit on my screen because, again, I cannot keep a straight face." - Brandon

"What critical government infrastructures are moving from their susceptible positions on the East Coast to the protected areas of Colorado? Are we talking pot seeds and grow lights?" - V

"What's the world coming to when you can't believe a conspiracy theory loony when they tell you something?" - Garry

"I'm still recovering from the last apocalypse! Do we have to have another one so soon? Oh, alright then, book me a ticket." - Delphi

"Me, I've survived the end of the world a dozen or more times. Like riding a bike, you never forget how." - Doug

"My name is Zorton. I was a space traveler dispatched from Pluto more than 2,500 years ago. My mission was to orbit earth and monitor human evolution. On my 10-year anniversary orbiting, a squadron of Uranian fighter crafts attacked my spaceship, causing severe damage to my steering mechanisms, causing my spacecraft to plummet into the Indian Ocean, where I began hiking under water for two months before reaching land. I currently am rebuilding my spacecraft and planning an escape this weekend back to Pluto. Have a nice day." - Mister

"I wish a death planet would destroy Yahoo."- Al


Note to Al: It already did. It's called Verizon.

3 comments :

  1. haha there are some fun ones there. I always said if it were true, I'd get that "Don't pay for 2 years" stuff and have a ball. Or you could rob a bank, even if you get caught, be ages with the court system before you get convicted. Pffft to these world ending nuts though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hadn't heard anything about this until a passing reference in the sermon this morning. Darn, I missed another great chance to worry and get uptight about nothing at all! Got to start reading the news more often.... :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. I laughed so hard at some of these! When I found out the world was going to end last weekend, I decided not to dust, and I didn't! thanks for sharing these.

    ReplyDelete


Dusty words lying under carpets,
seldom heard, well must you keep your secrets
locked inside, hidden deep from view?
You can talk to me... (Stevie Nicks)

All spam is promptly and cheerfully deleted without ever appearing in print.

I apologize for turning off anonymous posting for a while. Too much garbage coming through; hope to get anonymous comments turned back on after a short break. If you don't have a Google account and need to contact me, please use the email address in the sidebar. Thank you!

Related Posts with Thumbnails