Friday Fortius

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Grief

Less than 72 hours after he came home, Lizard valiantly completed his Parkinson's battle.

It's 3 a.m. I've been awake since 1 a.m. I can't sleep. I wake often in the night to help Lizard, and he's no longer there.

I miss Lizard. I want back the Lizard who didn't have Parkinson's. The Lizard he is now. Now that I can't see him. Hold him. Be wrapped in his arms.

My gosh, I miss him so much.

I didn't think I'd have to go so long without him. I thought we'd have more time.

I know he is whole now, and I know we will be together again one day. I'm trying to cherish and be thankful for all the adventures we shared. I'm trying to remember how exhuberant he was every morning until a couple of years before he was diagnosed with Parkinson's. I'm trying to remember every joyful moment with him. I'm doing my best to be faithful and hopeful. There are moments of exquisite joy. There are moments of excruciating agony.

I would never want him to have to endure that suffering again. But I miss him so much.

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Forever Knocks

I suppose I owe you a bit of an explanation.

Lizard went into the hospital 10 days ago, and the determination at the time and for the next three days was he would need to be in a long-term care facility. I was devastated.

Within four days, the goal changed from long-term care to hospice. I had seen this coming, but I thought I had more time. Much more time.

Lizard is at home with me now, and we are honoring his Advanced Care Directive. I'm doing my best to try to make him comfortable and to be there for him.

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No Flake Monday

Might be a while before I can do this again. I don't have an ounce of inspiration or motivation right now, and I'm not sure when either will return. I'm sorry.

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Friday Funny

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Woven Dreams

(affiliate links to my designs)

I've crocheted throws, I've designed polar fleece throws, and I've quilted cotton blankets. And, as I noted last week, I've yearned to learn to weave with my loom that has never come out of the box.

Woven throws supposedly are hot items these days. So I tried my hand at creating one. I love the design so much, I created different color variations, including Valentine's Day...

If I do a February version, I have to do a March version...

Spring colors were fun.

No special edition collection would be complete without a 250th anniversary variation!

And no sample blah blah blahg post would be complete without an AI caricature of me waving my patriotic colors in the breeze. (But just until my real life sample arrives! Can't wait!!!)

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Wordless Wednesday

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