Snowcatcher

Friday Fun

2012-06-01T04:30:00.001-06:00

Oh. My.

Viewfinders

2012-05-31T04:30:00.002-06:00

This is what The Lizard's new helmet cam saw last weekend in Waterton Canyon, his second attempt at learning to use this new technology. Music is "On Your Left" by Haik Naltchayan, from the "Off Road to Athens" soundtrack.

This is what my iPhone saw.

And this is what my Nikon saw. Music is "Caribbean Blue" by Enya, from the "Paint the Sky with Stars: The Best of Enya" album.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-05-29T18:30:00.000-06:00

Progress

2012-05-29T04:30:00.000-06:00

Commuted by bike to work on May 23, exactly two months from the day I broke my wrist, and it was the first time my wrist did not hurt while squeezing the brakes, shifting gears or turning into hairpin curves. Yeehaw!

The hand specialist said crocheting is good therapy for my wrist. So I've been doing quite a bit of that, every chance I get. I added homemade noodles (with red Montana wheat we grind ourselves in a human-powered grinder) to the workout routine last weekend, and not only did they taste out of this world, but I believe the kneading process is even better for my wrist and elbow than threadwork!

My next ride wasn't pain-free, and the wrist has been achy on and off since then, but it's definitely improving. Maybe I need to make more homemade noodles...

New babies arrived last week: daylily, dahlia and windflower bulbs. Planted immediately. Ran out of pots. Had to repurpose pots with not as much growth, including the tiny potatoes that turned into gigantic plants when left unattended. The gigantic plants wilted the first day the sun got hot. Sifting through the soil in preparation for bulb insertion, I found four tiny baby potatoes! Not enough for a meal, but quite the thrill nevertheless.

My three-year-old Anaheim pepper plant finally gave up the ghost, unexpectedly losing all its leaves before finally dropping the final tiny pepper. These things are supposed to reach up to a foot in length in real life. Mine get stunted by altitude. But at least they grow.

A plant The Lizard inherited from his father and has thought all these years was some variety of hemlock is blooming for the first time since we began dating in 2004. Turns out this and another of a different variety are not hemlock at all but individual varieties of hoya, one a broad leaf, likely from the Philippines, possibly called Iris Marie, but we're still trying to verify identification, and this one, perhaps a verticillata. Happy hoyas with lovely names! Turns out The Lizard's dad was an avid hoya collector.

My spinach is producing for the first time since I moved to Colorado in 1988. I don't know what I did differently this time, but I may actually get a salad out of it this year!

Snowflake Monday

2012-05-28T04:30:00.000-06:00

My personal experience with breast cancer began before I was born when my grandmother's youngest sister died of the disease at age 34, leaving behind a husband and two small children.

I was so young when I first learned about this, I hardly knew what any of the words meant. I learned fast, though, meeting my motherless cousins when I was 4 and again when I was 8, and then over and over again as many others in my life experienced the diagnosis, one after another: "You have cancer."

My own personal initial brush with fear occurred when I was 23. I thought my great aunt was young! How could this be happening to me, I wondered. I'm way too young!

That instance turned out to be a false alarm, but many more friends and loved ones would follow, not with false alarms. They had the real thing. Some survived; some did not. I had another close call two years ago, so I know firsthand it never gets any easier. I don't suppose it ever will.

This week marks my final pink tribute (for now) in honor of the Goatmother and all others currently battling cancer, and in particular, breast cancer. I have a fancy new Father’s Day snowflake for next week, or I might have kept going pink until winter. Even though my future snowflakes may not be pink, the valiant warriors fighting cancer will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

The idea for this snowflake popped into my mind when I received the diagnosis email from the Goatmother. A couple of weeks passed before I was able to work up the idea, and I did so during three different road trips. (The Lizard was driving, not me!) The pattern initially was entirely written upon my iPhone (and needed lots of fixing)! When I finally finished my prototype, The Lizard showered me with praise because he loves my newest snowflake. (And, yes, he was very careful to gaze at the snowflake only when the vehicle was not moving.) One of the biggest thrills I get is when my soul mate loves something I create.

To me, the flower looks a bit like a water lily, so that's the name it gets. I love this pattern so much, it swipes a spot in my top ten favorites. I may just have to make a new top ten list! This is yet another snowflake project that requires a great deal of blocking patience, but to me, it's worth the effort.

With June on the horizon, it's time for The Lizard and I to get serious about raising funds for our MS-150 in just four weeks. Donors have pushed me up over the required amount, but The Lizard still needs to raise nearly $200 in order to participate. I decided a few giveaways might be in order.

Because I've already had so many generous donors, I didn't want to leave them out of the fun, so I placed names of all the donors to The Lizard's fundraising this year in a hat and asked one of my co-workers to draw a name. Doug Philips wins a set of my snowflake greeting cards!

Everyone who makes a tax-deductible contribution in The Lizard’s name by noon Mountain Time on Friday, June 1, will be entered in another drawing for the most recent issue of "Crochet Traditions," a magazine I love so much, I accidentally bought it twice. This magazine is new and unused and contains many great patterns, photos and stories. All donors will continue to receive a PDF copy of this year’s snowflake pattern booklet, which features three amigurumi snowflake patterns that will not be published anywhere else. Read more about our fundraising drive here.

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this week’s pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 5.5 inches from point to point
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread in two colors, size 8 crochet hook, empty pizza box, wax paper or plastic wrap, cellophane tape, water soluble school glue or desired stiffener, water, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line

For the ecru and pink version of this snowflake, I hand-colored a small ball of ecru thread with a pink permanent marker and allowed it to dry for several days. Coloring thread in this manner may or may not be permanent, but when used for a snowflake (or other ornament) and stiffened, the color is adequately protected as long as the ornament is not subjected to extended periods of direct sunlight.

I hand-color the thread by pulling it between the marker and a piece of scrap paper on a surface that will not be damaged or stained by ink bleed beneath the paper. By pulling the thread quickly with heavy tension, the thread is colored as if it was two separate threads of differing colors spun together. That effect blurs, however, when a finished snowflake created with the colored thread is stiffened with liquid starch. Liquid starch also can cause colors to bleed and run, so make sure to protect your working surface during the stiffening process.

Instructions

Ch 3, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: 12 dc in ring. (See dc start tutorial here). Pull magic circle tight, but leave opening big enough to allow stitches inside it to lay flat.
Round 2: *1 sc in next dc, ch 6, sk next dc; repeat from • around 5 times for a total of 6 petals; ch 1.
Round 3: Working behind petals, * 1 sc in dc in bottom middle of next petal, ch 6; repeat from * around 5 times for a total of 6 new petals; ch 1.

Round 4: 8 sc in each ch 6 sp around; sl st in starting sc; ch 2.
Round 5: Working behind petals, * 1 dc around post of Round 1 dc at bottom middle of next sc petal, ch 8; repeat from * around 5 times for a total of 6 new petals; sl st in starting dc.

Round 6: * 3 sc in next ch 8 sp, 6 hdc in same sp, 3 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc; ch 3.
Round 7: Working in back of petals, * 1 dc through sc base of next sc petal, ch 14; repeat from * around 5 times for a total of 6 new petals; sl st in starting dc.

Round 8: Working in back of petals, *3 sc in next ch 14 sp, 3 hdc in same sp, 6 dc in same sp, 3 hdc in same sp, 3 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc; bind off.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.
Round 9: With white, working in back of petals, sl st in back 2 thread of joint between any 2 hdc petals of Round 6, ch 10, *sl st in next back 2 threads of joint between Round 6 petals, ch 10; repeat from * around 4 times for a total of 6 ch 10 loops; sl st in starting sl st.

Round 10: *3 sc in next ch 10 sp, 3 hdc in same sp, 3 dc in same sp, ch 3, 3 dc in same sp, 3 hdc in same sp, 3 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times.
Round 11: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), * sk next 4 st, 1 dc in each of next 5 st, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 3 dc in same sp, 1 dc in each of next 5 st, sk next 4 st, 1 dc in joint between leaves (between 2 3/sc groups); repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2.
Round 12: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc),* sk next 2 dc, 1 sc in next dc, ch 2, sk next 2 dc, 1 hdc in each of next 2 dc, ch 2, sk next dc, 2 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same sp, ch 2, sk next dc, 1 hdc in each of next 2 dc, ch 2, sk next 2 dc, 1 sc in next dc, sk next 2 dc, 1 dc in next dc (joint dc); repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2.
Round 13: Ch 3 (counts as 1 dc and ch 1), * 1 dc in next hdc, ch 3, sl st in top of dc just worked, 1 dc in next dc, 2 dc in next ch 2 sp, 1 dc in next dc, ch 3, sl st in top of dc just worked, 1 dc in next dc, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, sl st in top of dc just worked, 3 dc in same sp, 1 dc in next dc, ch 3, sl st in top of dc just worked, 1 dc in next dc, 2 dc in next ch 2 sp, 1 dc in next hdc, ch 3, sl st in top of dc just worked, ch 3, 1 dc in next hdc, ch 1, 1 dc in next dc (joint dc), ch 1; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc and ch of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 3. Bind off. Weave in ends.

Finish: Tape wax paper or plastic wrap to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or plastic wrap.

If using glue, mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture or desired stiffener. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or plastic wrap. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch the snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.

Friday Funny

2012-05-25T04:30:00.001-06:00

Oh, my...

Aspen in Spring

2012-05-24T04:30:00.000-06:00

Wordless Wednesday

2012-05-22T18:40:00.000-06:00

I can!

2012-05-22T04:30:00.000-06:00

My fourth ride after five weeks in a cast and no bike, I pedaled nine miles up Independence Pass. I thought I could do six miles. I did nine.

My fifth ride, I went halfway up Deer Creek Canyon. Non-stop. I had gained 3,000 feet of elevation my first two trips up Deer Creek Canyon this season, before I broke my wrist, slow but non-stop. I worried I would have to start over after five weeks of no climbing and no riding. I went halfway up Deer Creek Canyon without stopping. Slow, and not pain-free, but non-stop.

I must continue to rebuild strength in my wrist and in my elbow, and I have to rebuild what little speed I am capable of maintaining, but I didn't have to start over from scratch. My 15-month streak of a 60-mile-day every month has served me well. Training through winter has paid off.

It is so tempting to try to overdo it now that I'm back on the bike. One wrong move now, and my riding season likely will be over. Even though I'm two to three weeks behind on my training right now, I'm stronger now than I have been in the past when I've been trying to get myself back in shape for summer. I could do the MS-150 this weekend if I had to, and I think I'll be ready for Ride the Rockies in three weeks. My saddle may be sore, but I'll be ready. I can do the miles. I can climb. I can.

It was a very good thing I didn't try to go further up Deer Creek Canyon. I flatted half a block from home. Brand new tires. My first pinch flat ever. If I'd gone another seven miles up the mountain, I may have flatted fourteen miles from home. That would not have been a fun walk. (I'm not so good or confident at changing or repairing skinny tires, and The Lizard was many, many miles away at work.)

But I CAN walk my bike 14 miles! When I have to.

PS: Scaled Vail Pass over the weekend, then did the full 60-mile commute to and from work yesterday. And gave blood in between. Now my total mileage count for the year so far stands at 666. YIKES!!!

Snowflake Monday

2012-05-21T04:30:00.000-06:00

Several months ago, I accidentally spilled my morning berries on my favorite white turtleneck sweater. No matter how I tried, I could not get the stain out.

The unsightly stain in an embarrassing place inspired me to drop some white thread in the bowl of berry juice. I love the shade I obtained by staining my crochet thread with breakfast!

If I were to wash a berry-stained snowflake, chances are not one iota of the color would remain. But snowflakes get stiffened, not washed, and coating the flakes with a shiny gloss further protects the new color.

Thread may be stained with just about anything. Try putting a spool of white thread unprotected in your purse for a week or two, and you'll be surprised at the things that mark up the thread!

Fruit juices make attractive crochet thread colors. Vegetables and plant roots also will produce some unexpected shades. My grandmother stained her thread with tea when I was very young, and I've enjoyed experimenting with what I saw her do so long ago. Leaves and petals create some interesting effects when pressed against thread, finished snowflakes or even fabric.

Staining is different than dyeing, unless you are accidentally staining clothing. Staining will fade and sometimes completely wash out of crochet thread (or sewing fabric) without proper mordants, which set the color. The only time a stain will refuse to entirely leave is when it's in a place you don't want it. If you like the stain, it will eventually come out. That's just the way it works.

Stained snowflakes may be coated with fingernail polish, varnish, shellac or epoxy, and even the glue/water mixture will provide fairly adequate color protection for snowflake display (as long as you don't leave them in direct sunlight for extended periods of time). Liquid starch can cause stain color (and even some professional dyes) to run, so I don't recommend that method of stiffening for hand-stained snowflakes unless you have a surface that won't be damaged by leaking colors. Intentionally causing color to run is yet another way of achieving unique snowflake colors. Try drawing on a snowflake with a regular felt tip pen, then stiffen with liquid starch, and watch the color spill over into the uncolored areas and spread into different shades.

White thread is not required when staining or dyeing. Attractive effects may be obtained with off-white, ecru, gray or just about any color under the sun. For a real treat, try staining variegated thread.

Don't be afraid to get creative when coloring crocheted items that will be stiffened and never washed. Have fun with it!

More staining information is available here. Feast your eyes on some of the beautiful shades dyers are able to achieve naturally here.

Several snowflakers have asked where I get the colors of thread I use in my projects. I dye some of my thread on my own, but I also buy from indie dyers. Here are links to sites where I have purchased hand-colored thread. I have not received any compensation for listing these sites, and there may be others of which I'm unaware. These are listed in alphabetical order and not in any order of preference.

Bre-Aly Threads on Etsy
eBay
Handy Hands
Sara's Colorwave Yarn

I am continuing my pink theme this month in honor of the Goatmother and all those valiantly battling breast cancer or any form of cancer. My thoughts and prayers for strength and comfort are with them. And while we're on the topic, I just scheduled my icky mammy, and the fateful appointment landed on the day before Ride the Rockies!!! At least my saddle won't be the sorest thing the next day... Have you done your mammy?!?

This is the first time I've tried using size 50 thread and a size 14 hook since my cast came off. My stitching isn't as tight as it was prior to breaking my wrist, yet I was able to work up a matched set of tiny snowflakes to turn into earrings.

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 2.5 inches from point to point
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread, size 8 crochet hook, empty pizza box, wax paper or plastic wrap, cellophane tape, glue, water, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line

Instructions

Ch 3, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: Ch 2 (counts as 1st dc in 3/dc cluster), [yo and draw up loop through ring, yo and bring through 2 loops on hook] 2 times, yo and bring through all 3 loops on hook (starting dc cluster made), ch 3, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook, *[yo and draw up loop through ring, yo and bring through 2 loops on hook] 3 times, yo and bring through all 4 loops on hook (dc cluster made), ch 3, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook; repeat from * 4 times; sl st in starting dc cluster. Pull magic circle tight.
Round 2: Ch 2 (counts as 1st dc in 3/dc cluster), work starting dc cluster in same cluster as sl st, ch 3, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 3, 1 sc in 2nd ch from hook, ch 4, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook, *in next dc cluster work dc cluster, ch 3, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 3, 1 sc in 2nd ch from hook, ch 4, 1 dc in 3rd ch from hook; repeat from * around four times; sl st in starting dc cluster; bind off. Weave in ends.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.

Finish: Tape wax paper or plastic wrap to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or plastic wrap.

Mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or plastic wrap. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch the snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.

Friday Fun

2012-05-18T04:30:00.002-06:00

Tell me you're not rooting for this guy all the way to the end!

Then and Now

2012-05-17T04:30:00.000-06:00

Much has been said about acrylic yarn. Some people love it. Others hate it. The price makes it difficult to turn down. How well it adapts to an extreme variety of weather conditions is the reason it shows up in so many outdoor art installations, also known as yarn bombing.

The Ladies Fanciwork Society was commissioned two years ago to give Downtown Denver tourists and residents alike something interesting to look at during major deconstruction, rennovation and revitalization of the Lower Downtown (LoDo) neighborhood.

This is the project in July of 2010.

And this is what the remnants of the once bright and colorful project look like now.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-05-15T18:30:00.000-06:00

Slow Bloomer

2012-05-15T04:30:00.003-06:00

12 March 2012

30 March 2012

8 April 2012

18 April 2012

24 April 2012

27 April 2012

Snowflake Monday

2012-05-14T04:30:00.000-06:00

I had a snowflake idea or two last year, and they weren’t working out, but I liked the centers, so I’ve been saving this handful of tiny flakes that never grew up.

I recently decided to work them up again and didn’t really like them because they were too plain. I have a pink theme this month, sending happy thoughts the Goatmother’s way, and the hue provided all kinds of inspiration to dress up these baby snowflakes.

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: Flake 1 – 2.75 inches from point to point; Flake 2 – 3.5 inches from point to point; Flake 3 - 1.5 inches from point to point without final row and 2.5 inches with all 4 rows
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread, size 7 crochet hook, empty pizza box, wax paper or foil, cellophane tape, water-soluble school glue and water or desired stiffener, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line

Instructions

Flake 1

Ch 3, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: Sl st into ring, ch 3 (counts as 1 dc and ch 1), *1 dc in ring, ch 1; repeat from * around 10 more times for a total of 12 spokes; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 3. Pull magic circle tight.
Round 2: *1 sc in next ch 1 sp, ch 3, 2 dc in next ch 1 sp, ch 4, 2 dc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 6, 1 sc in 2nd ch from hook, 1 dc in next ch, 1 tr in next ch, 1 dtr in next ch, ch 4, 2 dc in 3rd ch from hook, ch 1, 2 dc in same ch 1 sp, ch 3; repeat from * around five times; sl st in starting sc; bind off. Weave in ends.
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.

Flake 2

Ch 2, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: 6 sc in ring or in 2nd sc from hook if using chain start; sl st in starting sc. Pull magic circle tight.
Round 2: Ch 6 (counts as 1 dc and ch 4), *1 dc in next sc, ch 4; repeat from * around 4 times; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 6.
Round 3: *Sc in next ch 4 sp, ch 3, 1 dc in same sp, ch 5, 1 dc in same sp, ch 3, sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc.
Round 4: * 3 sc in next ch 3 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, 1 hdc in same sp, 2 dc in same sp, ch 10, 1 hdc in 10th ch from hook, 2 dc in same sp, 1 hdc in same sp, 1 sc in same sp, ch 5, 3 sc in next ch 3 sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc; bind off. Weave in ends.

Flake 3

Ch 3, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: 6 sc in ring; sl st in starting sc. Pull magic circle tight.
Round 2: Ch 4 (counts as 1 hdc and ch 3); *1 hdc in next sc, ch 3; repeat from * around 4 times, sl st in 1st ch of starting ch 4.
Round 3: * 1 sc in next ch 3 sp, ch 1, 2 dc in same sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same sp, ch 1, 1 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc. You may bind off here and weave in ends for a 6-pointed star-shaped tiny flake, or keep going with Round 4.
Round 4: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), * sk 1 dc, 1 sc in next dc, ch 4, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, ch 1, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 4, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, ch 1, 3 dc in same sp, ch 4, sl st in 3rd ch from hook, ch 1, 1 sc in next dc, 1 dc between next 2 sc; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2; bind off. Weave in ends.

Finish: Tape wax paper or foil to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or foil.

Mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture or desired stiffener. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or foil. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch the snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.

Friday Funny

2012-05-11T04:30:00.000-06:00

Delayed Reaction

2012-05-10T04:30:00.002-06:00

At one of the Bike to Work Day breakfast stations last year, a volunteer called out to a crowd of hungry, thirsty cyclists:

"So, who here is riding the most miles?"

The discussion prior to the prizeless contest had been one-way mileage. Several drawings with cool prizes were being promoted, and registration forms specifically ask for one-way mileage. The volunteer had been counseling riders how to answer that question on the forms.

I was off my bike, uploading strawberry photos I'd just snapped (and uploading actual strawberries into the blood stream), so I answered loud enough to be heard: "30 miles."

My answer seemed to "win" the impromptu respect of all my fellow riders, which were mostly fellows. One turned to me and asked clarification, "You're riding 30 miles one way, or is that round trip?"

"One way. 60 miles round trip," I replied. "Or, well, 59.5. I ride around the block when I get home to bring it up to 60."

"Wow." His admiration was echoed by a host of other riders.

Then the silence was broken by another female voice.

"31.5 miles."

I turned to face the woman, as did all the other cyclists. "You win!" I cheerfully conceded. My photos had finished uploading, I'd finished chomping on strawberries, and it was time to hit the bike path again. Besides, I didn't need to charm the male cyclists. I have one of my own, and I wouldn't trade him for all the cyclists in the world. :)

As I mounted my bike, the woman asked, "Where do you ride from to get so many miles?"

I told her where I live and where I work. Her expression of suspected shock didn't really register with me until after a good night's rest. I asked about her ride. She lives close to where I work and rides to where I used to live, a commute I'm very familiar with, having pedaled those same miles for seven years, but in reverse. Yet my mind didn't make sense of the numbers. All I was thinking at that moment was getting to work on time. Well, and daydreaming/hoping I might see some wildlife before I got downtown.

"How often do you commute?" the woman asked.

"At least three times a week during summer."

"So you must really be racking up the miles," she said, her face growing visibly uncomfortable.

"I'm shooting for a thousand miles this month."

"Are you close?" she asked.

"I'm down about 10 miles as of today, but by tonight, if I can ride all the way home, I'll be 20 miles ahead."

"You've thoroughly got me beat in miles," she said. "I have never done that many miles before."

We parted ways. I got to work. I finished the day. I rode home. I tried to accumulate extra miles, just to make sure I would be able to pedal more than 60 the following weekend during the MS-150. I got home sore, tired, stiff, hungry yet satisfied.

I slept.

The next morning, things began to click.

I did that same commute. At least two times a week. Every week. All summer long. For seven years. Her mileage was round trip, not one-way. And she knew that. She knew, and she didn't bother to clarify. She maintained her "title" with that crowd of people she or I may never see again. At the expense of me.

I suppose she probably thought I was exaggerating when I told the crowd I pedal 30 miles one-way. I suspect she also may have wanted to impress the fellows. In her defense, she was friendly to me. She broke the ice, not me. I would have just pedaled away and not given her or the "contest" another thought.

During the next few hours of riding, my mind kept going back to that experience and the possible motivations behind what happened. I thought of my adopted kids, who sometimes stretched the truth to receive accolades because, due to their past, they were hungry for acceptance and praise. I thought of specific cases I covered as a journalist in which people falsely claimed to be titled, degreed or awarded.

Had I been more with it on Ride to Work Day, I could have made a scene and dethroned the Queen of Miles. If being Queen of Miles had been my objective. Again, riding lots of miles gives me lots of time to ponder. I was the first to respond when the question was posed, but was I really trying to take a crown? Or was I simply stating fact? Was I trying to silence the discussion? Or was I hoping someone with similar experience would speak up, uniting us as Partners in Miles?

I sincerely hope my motivation was pure, that I was seeking friendship and/or kinship in lieu of attention or admiration.

My mind goes back to something Lance Armstrong said many years ago. Regardless of what shady things he may or may not have done, I've always loved his reply when he was being hounded about doping:

"What am I on? I'm on my bike."

Hopefully, what he said is what people feel when I talk or write about cycling. It's about health. It's about goals. It's about overcoming odds.

It's about believing, "I can!"

Wordless Wednesday

2012-05-08T18:30:00.000-06:00

Resolve

2012-05-08T04:30:00.001-06:00

With two weeks left to train, I learned last year's Assault on the Peak had shrunk an hour.

I was so devastated, I couldn't stop crying. Work became a nightmare about the same time. To top everything else off, I was moody that day.

And of course, the world was ending that day. Biggest stock market crash in history. Everyone was nervous. Everyone was trying not to listen to news.

For the next 28 hours, my moods swung but snagged as if I was stuck on a Ferris wheel, two to three hours in each seat position. Every emotion in the spectrum.

I fought depression with all my might. I knew the missing hour of ride time would mean an extra hour of sleep on ride day. I pulled weeds in the garden. I noticed grasshopper-chewed leaves that so effectively depicted my emotions. I went inside and designed a new snowflake. The Lizard said it looked like a turtle. How fitting. I ride a turtle pace.

The Lizard was wonderful. He kept telling me I could make it to the top of Pikes Peak.

I'd felt so good after the previous weekend's training. I was still nervous, but I believed I would make it.

Suddenly, the wind was taken from me. Not the Pikes Peak wind. The air that I breathe.

Just as suddenly, within minutes of posting right here on my blog about my agony, a literal invisible army of thoughtful pedal pushers joined my fight. My blogging friends kept me from spilling over the edge of raging Pikes Peak salty tear falls.

The Lizard told me to take Pikes Peak by the horns and kick its rump. I tried really, really hard to stay positive. I even calculated what I had to average to make it. I had to average 4.5 mph. (I averaged 3.2 mph the previous year.) I had to stay on my bike. No walking.

I thought I could stay on the bike last August. I was stronger. I knew how to eat and drink properly. I'd been riding in the wind all year.

I just didn't know if I could be an hour faster. The weekend before, I felt 15 minutes faster. But would I have an hour of faster in me? Ever?

Ironically, I read just prior to receiving my cyclist packet that Fat Cyclist's protege IT Guy broke his collarbone a week before his first Leadville 100, and the 21-year-old was out for the rest of the year, not just the season. He, like me, had trained hard all year. Just like that, his dream was gone.

I kept trying to tell myself I didn't break anything. I could still ride.

I knew I couldn't give up. That would be a waste of everything I'd put into training. Initially, I felt I'd wasted all the sacrifices I'd made last year because I'd been so focused on that one event, that one ride. Initially, it felt as if I made wrong choices because the summit was never attainable anyway, and I had wasted my time pretending.

Ever since February 2011, I wanted to write about why Pikes Peak was so important. Why was it such a big deal? Why was I so consumed with the summit? Why did I even care? Now I'm glad I waited. The words come together better now.

I've been through a lot of hard things. There were a lot of things I didn't think I could survive. Each time I made it through something difficult, I developed a little more faith in God, a little more faith in myself and a little more will to keep going. Each hard thing I made it through helped me make it through the next hard thing, and even though the steps sometimes seemed too steep or long, I was able to keep moving.

Friends suggested last year I would one day appreciate Pikes Peak even more because I didn't make it. Twice now. Fighting so hard the first year and not making it gave me what I needed to push through last year's effort to improve. If I hadn't failed the first year, I wouldn't have worked so hard last year. I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. I can ride in the wind without getting off my bike. I can ride up dirt roads on my skinny tires without getting off my bike. I can go up Deer Creek Canyon without stopping and without dropping into the granny gear. I can even be off my bike for a month because I broke my wrist and not be at ground zero when I finally get to ride again.

I couldn't do any of that before emergency back surgery in 2004, when I was physically at my peak. That means I'm stronger now than I was before my life was changed by an undetermined injury. I'm living proof someone over 50 truly can improve. That's why I want to make it to the summit of Pikes Peak. That's why I don't give up.

Mostly, though, I want to silence that little voice inside me that wants to whine, "I can't," or "It's too hard."

That tiny voice got a lot louder the day I found the time limit had been shortened. In fact, the not-so-tiny voice yelled in my face. It made me cry. I went from believing I could make it to thinking I failed before I even got to the start line.

I want to take the strength I gain from unsuccessfully completing the most difficult ride I've ever done and translate it into other areas of my life so I don't ever think I can't or I'm not good enough or I'm strong enough. I want to prove to myself I can do what I put my mind to.

Full circle. I'm back where I started. I've trained hard, the Pikes Peak ride has changed yet again (cut back to three hours this year but just half the distance, the hardest half...), and I believe I can make it.

A good cry every once in a while is good for the soul. And it washes the gnats out of your eyes.

Once again, I'm signing up for Pikes Peak proclaiming I will not be swept. I'm going to give it my best shot. I hope this year I am able to announce to the world, "I made it!" Even if I don't make the summit, I am stronger because I never gave up.

Snowflake Monday

2012-05-07T04:30:00.000-06:00

This Mother’s Day snowflake was inspired in part by two-color snowflakes I've seen by others using my 3D Crystal Rose Snowflake and in part by the gorgeous flowerlike colorways of thread I've used in the centers.

I had such a great time trying every flower-hued thread in my collection.

In honor of the Goatmother...

If you’re not into flowers covered by a blanket of late spring snow, make the snowflake portion of the snowflake in green.

Thread colors inspired me, but so did this real life flower in my garden.

Not only did I have fun making all these snowflakes, I had fun playing with them, too. And playing. And playing. And playing... I even added some new free wallpapers here.

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 5.5 inches from point to point
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread in two colors, size 8 crochet hook, empty pizza box, wax paper or plastic wrap, cellophane tape, water soluble school glue or desired stiffener, water, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line

Instructions

With flower color, ch 4, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: * Ch 2, 2 dc in ring, ch 2, sl st in ring (petal made); repeat from *5 times for a total of 6 petals. Don't pull magic circle too tight.
Round 2: Ch 1, working in same direction but along back of flower, *sl st through 2 bottom loops of next 2 dc (catching 1 thread from each dc), ch 3; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sl st.
Round 3: *Sl st in next ch 3 sp, ch 2, 4 dc in same sp, ch 2, sl st in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times.
Round 4: Ch 1, working along back of flake, * sl st in bottom two loops of middle 2 dc of next petal (catching 1 thread from each of middle 2 dc), ch 4; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc of this row.
Round 5: *Sl st in next ch 4 sp, ch 2, 6 dc in same sp, ch 2, sl st in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; bind off. Weave in ends.
Round 6: With white, * sl st into back 2 bottom middle loops of any 6 dc petal, *ch 6, sl st into back 2 bottom middle loops of next petal; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last sl st of final repeat and sl st into starting sl st instead.
Round 7: *1 sc in next ch 6 sp, 2 hdc in same sp, 2 dc in same sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same sp, 2 hdc in same sp, 1 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st into starting sc.
Round 8: Ch 3 (counts as 1 dc and ch 1), *sk next sc and next hdc, 1 dc in next hdc, ch 2, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 3 dc in same sp, ch 2, sk next 2 dc, 1 dc in next hdc, ch 1, 1 dc between next 2 sc, ch 1; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 3.
Round 9: Ch 2 (counts as 1 dc), * 2 hdc in next ch 2 sp, 1 dc in each of next 3 dc, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 3 dc in same sp; 1 dc in each of next 3 dc, 2 hdc in next ch 2 sp, sk next dc, 1 dc in next dc; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last dc of final repeat; sl st in 2nd ch of starting ch 2.
Round 10: Ch 6, sk next 4 st, sl st into next st, ch 6, sl st in next ch 3 sp, ch 6, sl st in same sp, ch 6, sk next 3 st, sl st in next st, ch 6, sk next 4 st, sl st in next dc; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last sl st of final repeat; sl st in same ch as ending sl st of Round 9.
Round 11: * 3 sc in next ch 6 sp, ch 6, sl st in next ch 6 loop, 6 dc in next ch 6 loop, 1 tr in same loop, ch 3, sl st in top of tr, 1 tr in same loop, 6 dc in same loop, sl st in next ch 6 sp, ch 6, 3 sc in next ch 6 sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc; bind off. Weave in ends.

Finish: Tape wax paper or plastic wrap to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or plastic wrap. TIP: Pin down center of flower to give the flower a little more depth, but leave petals loose to shape naturally instead of forcing them to be identical.

If using glue, mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture or desired stiffener. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or plastic wrap. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch the snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.

The bonus joined motif pattern is included below. This project requires a LOT of shaping. If you do not like to block snowflakes, do not attempt this project. I'm hoping to make a vest from my joined motifs, and I think the final project will be well worth the significant blocking effort required.

Instructions

With flower color, ch 4, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: * Ch 2, 2 dc in ring, ch 2, sl st in ring (petal made); repeat from *5 times for a total of 6 petals. Don't pull magic circle too tight.
Round 2: Ch 1, working in same direction but along back of flower, *sl st through 2 bottom loops of next 2 dc (catching 1 thread from each dc), ch 3; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sl st.
Round 3: *Sl st in next ch 3 sp, ch 2, 4 dc in same sp, ch 2, sl st in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times.
Round 4: Ch 1, working along back of flake, * sl st in bottom two loops of middle 2 dc of next petal (catching 1 thread from each of middle 2 dc), ch 4; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st in starting sc of this row.
Round 5: *Sl st in next ch 4 sp, ch 2, 6 dc in same sp, ch 2, sl st in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; bind off. Weave in ends.
Round 6: With white, * sl st into back 2 bottom middle loops of any 6 dc petal, *ch 6, sl st into back 2 bottom middle loops of next petal; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last sl st of final repeat and sl st into starting sl st instead.
Round 7: *1 sc in next ch 6 sp, 2 hdc in same sp, 2 dc in same sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same sp, 2 hdc in same sp, 1 sc in same sp; repeat from * around 5 times; sl st into starting sc.
Round 8: Ch 7 (counts as 1 dc and ch 5), *2 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same ch 3 sp, ch 5, 1 dc between next 2 sc, ch 5; repeat from * around 4 times, 2 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 2 dc in same ch 3 sp, ch 2, 1 tr in 2nd ch of starting ch 7 to form final ch 5 sp of round.
Round 9: 1 sc in same sp (over tr just worked), *ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 3, 3 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 3 dc in same sp, ch 3, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last ch 3 and sc of final repeat; ch 1, 1 dc in starting sc to form final ch 3 sp of round.
Round 10: 1 sc in same sp (over dc just worked), *ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 4 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 4 dc in same sp, ch 3, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last ch 3 and sc of final repeat; ch 1, 1 dc in starting sc to form final ch 3 sp of round.
Round 11: 1 sc in same sp (over dc just worked), *ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 5 dc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 5 dc in same sp, ch 3, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp; repeat from * around 5 times, omitting last sc of final repeat; sl st in starting sc; bind off. Weave in ends.

After finishing one motif, the following motifs will be joined as you go as follows.

Motif Joining Round 11: 1 sc in same sp (over dc just worked), *ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp, ch 5, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp, ch 3, 5 dc in next ch 3 sp, {ch 1, 1 sc in ch 3 point of first motif, ch 1, 5 dc in same sp of second motif, ch 1, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp of first motif, ch 1, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp of second motif, [ch 2, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp of first motif, ch 2, 1 sc in next ch 5 sp of second motif] 3 times but working 3rd second motif sc into next ch 3 sp of second motif, ch 1, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp of first motif, ch 1, 5 dc in next ch 3 sp (tip) of second motif, ch 1, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp (tip) of first motif, ch 1}, 5 dc in same ch 3 sp (tip) of second motif, ch 3, 1 sc in next ch 3 sp of second motif; repeat from * around 4 times, omitting { } joining sequence unless joining to more than one motif and omitting last sc of final repeat; sl st in starting sc; bind off. Weave in ends.

When joining more than two motifs, work joint joins (where two tips are already joined) with ch 1, 1 sc through at least two threads of tip joining, ch 1. By working through more than 1 thread on a join, one thread won’t be pulled loose for an unsightly mess during blocking.

My project is being blocked with plain water, sprayed in a fine mist, as I go, but I may use a watered-down spray starch to very lightly shape the garment when completely done.

Friday Fun

2012-05-04T04:30:00.000-06:00

Who'd have thought I could still get such a kick out of Sesame Street?!? They did such a terrific job on this fun stop motion!

I'm free!!!

2012-05-03T04:30:00.001-06:00

I didn't realize how much my 60-mile-day streak meant to me until I was on the verge of unwillingly ending it.

For five weeks, the old adage about getting back on the bike right after a wreck haunted me. I knew I would have to rebuild confidence as much as I needed to rebuild strength and endurance.

On August 15, 2001, I was hit by a car while I was riding my bike home from work. I was not seriously hurt, but it took me nearly 18 months to work up the courage to ride on the road in traffic again.

After my most recent spill, the first time I tried getting back on the bike, with the hand specialist's permission, of course, I couldn't operate the front brakes, and I couldn't put weight on my right arm.

The second time I tried getting back on the bike, again, with permission, I got on the trainer in the basement. I pedaled for five minutes. I made sure I could reach everything. I leaned on my arm for a full two minutes. But trainers are not like riding in real life. I knew I would need more. More strength. More endurance. More time in the saddle.

According to Ride the Rockies training recommendations, I should be comfortably riding at least 150 miles a week by this week. I was to that point a month ago when my training was abruptly interrupted. Would I be able to build back up in time? Would I really be able to ride 60 miles in a day before the end of April???

I missed so much. I missed this year's pink blossoms, an annual cycling photo opp. I was running out of April. The streak was looking bleak. Cross-training was looking more and more appetizing.

Friends Mike and Kim joined The Lizard and me for a 15-mile round-trip day hike into Rattlesnake Canyon. I had been there before, so I knew I could do it again. What I didn't remember was the number of three- and four-point contact scrambling we would encounter going straight up sandstone beneath an arch to enable the three of them to prance across the top of the arch. Mike and Kim had never done such a thing before. I encouraged them to take the path less traveled because I thought I could do it. I had done it before.

But not with a broken wrist!

Nevertheless, The Lizard literally got first-timers Mike and Kim and old-timer me up the sandstone. I did not traverse the arches but took plenty of photos of my hiking companions doing so. My wrist was achy, and my fingers kept swelling. But I did it. I hiked the entire 15 miles. I didn't need an ambulance at the end of our 12-hour day.

The following day, I was stiff from the waist down, and blisters had found comfortable resting spots on my feet. Yet I had more strength in my arm and wrist! The challenge had been worth the effort and the discomfort! Well, and so were the photos...

A few days later, after the blisters healed, I knew if I didn't get back on that bike - soon - the streak, impressive even if soon to end, would die. I wasn't ready to let it slip away.

I mounted my bike extra early because I knew I would be extra slow because I would be extra scared my first commute back in the saddle, at dark to boot, in the hope I could make it to work on time and pedal the entire 30 miles both ways.

I had many options. The Lizard could drop me and my bike off at the halfway point in the morning. I could pedal to the halfway point and take the train the rest of the way. I could easily take the train from anywhere along the final 15 morning miles. In the evening, I could pop my bike aboard the train at any point for 15 miles and have The Lizard pick up me and the bike anywhere I asked. No pressure other than keeping my streak alive.

My predawn speed was slower than ever, but not because I couldn't ride faster. I was nervous about encountering obstacles. I feared falling again.

About a mile into my ride, a mule deer trotted alongside me for quite a while. That took my mind off my fears. Suddenly it burst in front of me, into my headlamp beam, then bounced off into the river. Boing, boing, boing! Because I was going very slow, I had plenty of time to stop and allow my unplanned pace companion go her own way.

Before the sky began to lighten, I encountered the very same split rail fence where I had wrecked nearly five weeks earlier. I was nervous. Until out of the corner of my eye I spotted a squirrel racing along the fence beside me. The missing fence sections provided ample hurdling opportunities for the furry friend, who displayed wanton determination and scampered up and down seemingly effortlessly to beat me to the end of the bike path. He then posed atop the final fence post and chattered at me, as if to say, "Nanny nanny boo boo! I-I-I beat you!"

The darkness forced me to buck up and be a woman. The deer and the squirrel provided unexpected entertainment that redirected my nervous energy just long enough to get me through the dark and scary spots. The sky slowly faded to pastel hues tinted by warming solar rays, and my confidence slowly, very slowly, began to breathe new life. 22 miles of bike path made the ride pleasing and satisfying.

I bypassed the train options. I made it into all-one-way streets downtown. I took a deep breath once again and opted to stay on the bike, in rush hour traffic, instead of walking the bike four blocks to the office.

I have three blocks of designated bike lane alongside traffic and two blocks of sharrows downtown in the morning, and one block of sharrows followed by 11 blocks of designated bike lane alongside traffic after quitting time. The afternoon commute isn't too bad unless there is a game (basketball, hockey or baseball); motorists in such circumstances tend to be more focused on finding the cheapest parking spaces than watching for cyclists, especially when many cyclists ignore common laws such as stopping for traffic lights and riding on sidewalks where pedestrians are present. But that's a rant for another day. The afternoon ride typically is much warmer and lighter, so I do okay with my p.m. commutes.

The morning commute, however, features cabbies loitering in the designated bike lanes, oblivious to oncoming cyclists, or worse, opening their cab doors into the designated bike lanes without looking first. My first day back on the bike was no different.

I cruised to a slow halt in heavy one-way traffic, hoping the cabbies would make room for me to pass. But they didn't. They looked over their shoulders at me and continued gabbing as if I were invisible. I stopped, and I waited. And waited. And waited.

Typically, when a motorist behind me blows the horn, I jump sky high. Most motorists think that's funny.

My first day back in the saddle provided an emotionally satisfying variation of the morning bike lane game. I wasn't about to jump out into traffic to get around these guys, but I was shy about asking them to please move, too. A motorist behind me must have noticed what was going on, waited until just the right moment, then laid into that horn as if transporting a pregnant woman with contractions in slow-moving gridlock. You should have seen those cabbies jump! Um, and vacate the bike lane! The driver then smiled and waved at me, and I was happily on my way again. I was grinning ear to ear.

That afternoon, I made it all the way home without incident. I'd done it. 14!!! 60!!! The streak is alive!

The next day, I was pretty stiff again, my shoulders and saddle were sore, and the hand was once again achy. But the body withstood what I put it through.

My streak now stands at 14 consecutive months of at least one 60-mile-or-better day per month. Organized cycling events in May, June, July, August, September and October will give me an automatic 20-month streak. If I can keep from running into things or panicking when I hit the brakes. Oh, and IF my derailleur holds out! Beyond that, I don't know what to hope or expect. After two bone-chilling rides in January and February this year, I thought I could let the streak go when the snow flies again.

Now I'm not so sure.

This streak may be yet another Pikes Peak for me. Another way to prove to myself I can do something difficult. Another way to prove no arthritis, bone chips, blood sugar, broken bones, saddle spills, brutal winters or deteriorating bike parts can hold me back.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-05-01T18:30:00.000-06:00

30 Seconds

2012-05-01T04:30:00.000-06:00

I have the book. I've never opened it.

I have every newspaper clipping. I haven't looked at them in years.

The movie came out. I watched the trailer.

I am not sure I will ever be able to watch the movie or even read the book.

* * *
I was drawn for my first Ride the Rockies in 2003, after several years of unsuccessfully trying to be drawn with my adopted son. We fantasized about being the first mother/son team if we could just get drawn. Finally, I was drawn. After he and my adopted daughter both ran away and my brother died in between. I finally would be living my dream. Alone.

Training was a bear. The weather often didn't cooperate. And it was difficult to stay motivated alone. Always alone. No one in my circle of friends then liked to ride as much as I did. Especially in winter.

I went to Moab in April because I could get in longer rides. The weather was warm. I could take lots of photos. I thought I might feel alive. I could get lots of miles. Lots and lots of miles. June was just around the corner. I needed to be able to ride 107 miles in a day. I was worried. I was stressed. I was alone.

A few days after I got home, I read about Aron Ralston, a member of the same mountain climbing club I’d joined at the request of a friend who didn’t like me going out on my own. I'd enjoyed Aron’s solo trip reports. I thought he was a little crazy. But he was a great writer and photographer. And he often went alone. It could be done.

Aron was in canyon country the same time as me and had been doing the same thing as me – hiking and biking alone. Not telling anyone where he was going, what he would be doing, or when he would be home. I did the very same thing. I stayed on well-tread paths. I came home with both hands. He did not.

I had been in shutdown mode for months. It was the only way I could survive. My personal losses were more than I could bear, and yet I knew, somewhere deep inside, I still had a purpose, a life, a chance for happiness. Training for Ride the Rockies had become my entire life because I couldn't deal with the rest. It gave me a goal to work toward. It gave me a reason to get up every morning.

After work the day I learned about Aron, I decided it was time to tackle Mount Evans. I'd never been able to make it to the top on my bike. The road from Echo Lake was still closed for winter, even though it was spring, and darkness would set in before I could get too far, but it was time to take on what at the time was my biggest nemesis. To make it to the top of that mountain on my bike.

I don't think I made it more than about six miles before I broke down and cried. I was crying the entire six miles. But I kept pedaling. Until I couldn't see anymore. And not just because of encroaching darkness. The darkness was what my life had become. There was nothing. Just dark.

I thought I was crying about the stranger I'd never met. The borderline lunatic and his on-the-edge escapades. I admired his sheer will to live. I wished my brother had possessed it. And then I realized why I was crying.

The grief finally came out. The massive tons of blinding, muting, deafening and stifling grief, pain, sorrow, remorse, shock, denial, desperation and sense of abandonment. Everything I’d been afraid to face – alone – finally enveloped me, right there on the slopes of Mount Evans. In the dark. Alone.

* * *
"127 Hours" must be as good as they say. Watching the trailer took me back to that moment on Mount Evans. As if I'd stepped into a transporter on Star Trek, I was smack dab back on the lonely planet of May 2, 2003. It’s not a place I like. It’s not a place I want to linger.

I was caught off guard by the wall of emotions that overwhelmed me in 30 seconds. So I likely will not watch the movie, my apologies Aron. I’ve got too much to live for now to keep going back to that grisly time and place.

I’m not alone anymore. My kids call once in a blue moon. I have wonderful memories of my awesome brother and his quirky sense of humor. I always make sure someone knows where I'm going now and when I expect to be back. I've turned my nose up at Ride the Rockies on occasion. Rare, but it does happen. I still go to bed crying when I don't get drawn. I have a new cycling opponent... Pikes Peak. Yet I also have a cycling partner. I don't ever have to be alone anymore.

The other day, The Lizard found "127 Hours" in the grocery store. He commented he might like to see it. I shuddered, but said nothing. He has other movies I don't care for, and he watches them while I volunteer on Tuesday nights. He gets what he enjoys, and I don't have to endure what might cause flashbacks, pain and nightmares.

If The Lizard does end up buying the movie, he knows it will be a Tuesday night movie. Because he would never do anything to hurt me. He wants me to be happy.

Aron is happy now, too. He’s got a life. A wife and child, too!

That's enough for me. I don’t need to relive the past anymore. Once was more than enough.

Snowflake Monday

2012-04-30T04:30:00.000-06:00

The cast is off! And this is the first snowflake I designed with my right hand free once again!

While I was pinning my Castaway Snowflake, The Lizard asked if I could make another snowflake just like it, but with chains long enough to pull from the center all the way to the outer ring of the snowflake. His request, combined with fancy new colors of hand-dyed thread that arrived in the mail before my bike wreck and have been patiently waiting to inspire me for more than a month now, resulted in the creation of this week’s Cast Off Snowflake.

I was so excited to finally crochet with thread again and to be using brand new colors of thread, I, um, messed up yet again by somehow not noticing the extra point in the cherry chocolate-hued snowflake until the final picot of the final round. I couldn’t bear unraveling the entire flake! I’m thinking my prototype snowflake might be a great thing to send to my mom, the mother of seven kids. It would be a one-of-a-kind gift! And I won’t have to tell her it’s a booboo.

I’m getting a little better at setting up groups on Flickr, and I managed to fix the settings on our Castaway Snowflake pool so everyone may see it, although you still have to be a member to add photos. Membership is free, and I’d love to see interpretations of this week’s snowflake, too, so feel free to celebrate with me by adding your snowflakes to our same group here.

You may do whatever you'd like with snowflakes you make from this pattern, but you may not sell or republish the pattern. Thanks, and enjoy!

Finished Size: 6.5 inches from point to point
Materials: Size 10 crochet thread, size 7 crochet hook, size H crochet hook (or whatever desired larger size hook you choose), empty pizza box, wax paper or plastic wrap, cellophane tape, water soluble school glue or desired stiffener, water, glitter, small container for glue/water mixture, paintbrush, stick pins that won't be used later for sewing, clear thread or fishing line
If you're not reading this pattern on Snowcatcher, you're not reading the designer's blog. Please go here to see the original.
Special Stitches
dc cluster: yo, [bring up loop around all 5 chains below, yo and draw through 2 loops on hook] 3 times for a total of 4 loops remaining on hook, yo and draw through all 4 loops on hook

Instructions

Ch 6, sl st into 1st ch OR make magic ring.

Round 1: Ch 4 (counts as 1 tr), 2 tr in ring, * ch 28, 3 tr in ring; repeat from * 5 times; sl st in 4th ch of starting ch 4. Don't pull magic circle too tight.
Round 2: Sl st into next tr; ch 4 (counts as 1 tr), 2 tr in same st, ch 22, * 3 tr in middle tr of next 3/tr group, ch 22; repeat from * around 4 times; sl st in 4th ch of starting ch 4.
Round 3: Sl st into next tr; ch 4 (counts as 1 tr), 2 tr in same st, ch 16, * 3 tr in middle tr of next 3/tr group, ch 16; repeat from * around 4 times; sl st in 4th ch of starting ch 4.
Round 4: Sl st into next tr; ch 4 (counts as 1 tr), 2 tr in same st, ch 12, * 3 tr in middle tr of next 3/tr group, ch 12; repeat from * around 4 times; sl st in 4th ch of starting ch 4.
Round 5: Sl st into next tr; ch 4 (counts as 1 tr), 2 tr in same st, ch 8, sl st in top of tr just made, turn, ch 12, sl st in top of tr just made, turn, ch 16, sl st in top of tr just made, 2 tr in same tr in main body of flake, ch 8, 1 dc cluster around all chains below in center of ch sp, ch 8, * 3 tr in middle tr of next 3/tr group, ch 8, sl st in top of tr just made, turn, ch 12, sl st in top of tr just made, turn, ch 16, sl st in top of tr just made, 2 tr in same tr in main body of flake, ch 8, 1 dc cluster around all chains below in center of ch sp, ch 8; repeat from * around 4 times; sl st in 4th ch of starting ch 4; bind off. Weave in ends.

Chain 8, slip stitch in top of double crochet just worked, turn.

Chain 12, slip stitch in top of double crochet just worked, turn.

Chain 16, slip stitch in top of double crochet just worked.
Finish: Tape wax paper or plastic wrap to top of empty pizza box. Pin snowflake to box on top of wax paper or plastic wrap.

If using glue, mix a few drops of water with a teaspoon of glue in small washable container. Paint snowflake with glue mixture or desired stiffener. Sprinkle lightly with glitter. Wash paintbrush and container thoroughly. Allow snowflake to dry at least 24 hours. Remove pins. Gently peel snowflake from wax paper or plastic wrap. Attach 10-inch clear thread to one spoke, weaving in end. Wrap fishing line around tree branch (or tape to ceiling or any overhead surface) and watch the snowflake twirl freely whenever you walk by! Snowflake also may be taped to window or tied to doorknob or cabinet handle.