18 January 2013

Friday Funny

No kidding.
Motivational Highway Message for the USA Pro Cycling Challenge

In light of this week's headlines, I thought a little bicycle ride down memory lane might be in order.

Below are selected comments to one of last October's news stories regarding a certain celebrity's fall from glory. I still believe with all my heart there are a lot of amateur comedians out there who could make it in the big leagues!

"I have decided to enter the next Tour De France... all I have to do is finish and 10 years later, all the other competitors will be caught and I will be the winner!"

"Too bad we don't have an agency that goes after politicians the way they go after athletes."

"Armstrong can still make $10 million writing, 'If I did it here's how it could have happened...'"

"My advice: Buy a Harley and ditch the wimpy 10-speed."

"How many women were burned as witches in Salem?"

"Three years from now, everyone everywhere in the world will go back to, 'What is the Tour de France?'"

"Hey, Media, you do know there was some kind of presidential debate last night, don't you?"

"If women and men can get away with enhancements, surgeries, putting parts in their body to give them a bigger parts or a better-looking six-pack, fuller lips and younger faces, then make money off their fake, unnatural purchased looks, I say those in the sports world can do exactly the same, and it's none of our business."

"Some of the pharmaceuticals should pick up where Nike left off."

"Supposedly all the other riders doped too, so either way that still makes him the best."

"Lance is a living, breathing human who proves CANCER can be BEATEN! That is what is important."

"There's plenty going on whether in Olympics, NFL football, baseball and on and on. Shots to numb injuries and send the player back on the field? I think Lance has done a lot more good than harm."

"Say it ain't so! Now what am I going to do with all this yellow attire?"

"The most tragic thing about all this is the vast amount of cyclists who will continue to use 'advanced performance' supplements (which probably have cancer-causing agents) and pollute their bodies to win a race."

"No winners in this."

"I'm more worried and upset by city cyclists who disregard laws of the roads and put everyone else at risk. They will soon get their just rewards. This week in NYC a cyclist was caught going through 4 red lights and given more than $1500 in fines. No city will ignore cash like this."
(RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"Be your own hero and/or inspiration! You probably won't be as let down, and your success might inspire others."

8 comments :

  1. First off, I love the last quote! Second, if the Goatmother would put a sign like that 'Steep' one across the roof of the barn, Ella might be less inclined to try to dash up there the next time the Goatmother forgets and leaves the ladder set up in the barn lot. On the other hand. It is Ella we're talking about. Maybe she takes supplements. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave it to you, Marigold, to make something mildly funny hilarious!!! Thank you!

      I like that last quote, too. It sure provided me solace back in October when the bubble popped.

      Delete
  2. How are the mighty fallen.

    Think I'll stick with my homemade energy bars. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. It truly HAS been a week for cyclists, hasn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I expect things will get worse before they get better, unfortunately.

      Delete
  4. I love the last quote too. It has been quite a year for cyclists. I long ago accepted that Lance did PEDs but his interview made me like him even less. I think he's still lying - but who am I to judge?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too, KB. I didn't really care when I thought it was just cyclists ruining their own bodies. But then we read the entire 1,200 pages. Every single word.

      Still turns my stomach.

      Delete


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